Monday, 20 July 2009


It has been suggested that there could be a place for the inimitable Jason Statham in my biblical epic. I confess that the idea did occur to me at the time; but I figured that as we already had Vin Diesel on board, Statham wouldn't be bringing much more to the table.

However, having thought about it a bit more, I now realise that such a pairing would be as cinematically significant as when Al Pacino and Robert De Niro starred alongside each other in Heat. Perhaps even more so.

So Statham gets a part as one of the twelve Disciple All-Stars. As does Goldie. And Captain Rex Kramer.

Mostly, the Disciples are a twelve man wrecking crew of ultimate bad-asses, who roam around enforcing God's will through the most violent means possible; but when they encounter an especially formidable foe, or perhaps stumble across a village whose inhabitants worship other gods - gods not known unto them - they will merge for the kill Devastator-style and open a can of smite-ass on the unrighteous.

Sean Bean will play Judas.

Still struggling to find a role for Adam Sandler; but I think it may involve stoning.


Willard said...


you have missed your vocation as a Hollywood executive.

Buy some cigars and move to Beverly Hills.

Pixie said...

You could cast Sandler as a brief walk on ... in the role of Lot's wife or something, who is featured so briefly before defying God's will and being turned to stone as a result that she doesn't even get to have a name...

I think that is about as much screen time as I would be happy to take away from the Diesel Statham three way that is currently going on in my head...