Super Bad-Ass Sweet Daddy Jones

I went back to visit my parents for a few days last week. My rubbish new car exceeded all my expectations by getting me there and back without exploding or falling to bits, which was nice.

Before heading back, I had to find my dad a birthday present. It wasn’t his birthday – that was almost two months ago – but since I’d failed to get him anything then, I figured I probably ought to try to find something. The trouble is, my dad (like most other dads) doesn’t really like anything, so whatever I purchased was almost certainly destined to spend a few years gathering dust on some secluded shelf, before eventually disappearing mysteriously just after one of mum’s ruthless (but infrequent) cleaning sprees. So, it would have to be something that wouldn’t take up too much space on whatever shelf it got banished to, something inexpensive enough to be regarded as disposable, and preferably something with a practical use of some sort.

I eventually settled on an Easycook Non-Stain Microwave Egg Poacher.

Let this be a lesson to us all; never go gift shopping with Dozer at lunchtime. Because now we have one too. With the Easycook Microwave Egg Poacher, eggs can be prepared in mere minutes in one of two ways; rubber, or snot. Yummy.

Fortunately, my dad has known me for long enough (my entire life in fact) that he no longer expects to receive anything worthwhile for his birthday, and so he did not have to disown me.