tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63058914421850520702024-02-07T20:37:27.354+00:00umbrella graveyarda waste of my time and everyone elsesBenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.comBlogger193125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-71906933232732511612013-06-02T00:44:00.000+01:002013-06-02T14:32:04.774+01:00je ne parle pas francais<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So then the Pixie came out to New Zealand. We got drunk, played mini golf and romped around a spooky/lame/awesome <a href="http://www.a-maze-n-golf.co.nz/">maze</a>.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHvWG7b3PY65nyFYSDWNpXlQlBMYUzgdnFih1JpsC3ewFZQKIfW_Zto6Zm2LsSYfPux3uIbLmHNrJapefm_HhNSoPbiCWQ-bia_zyFMpU8nRzIRWi3zosEOgoEjcBrCVLQy5dsb4o53wY/s1600/DSC01144.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHvWG7b3PY65nyFYSDWNpXlQlBMYUzgdnFih1JpsC3ewFZQKIfW_Zto6Zm2LsSYfPux3uIbLmHNrJapefm_HhNSoPbiCWQ-bia_zyFMpU8nRzIRWi3zosEOgoEjcBrCVLQy5dsb4o53wY/s320/DSC01144.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We got back in time for Christmas, and made friends with my new niece Abigail. She is tiny, and her special skills mostly involve drooling and pooping.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYS1FtsICOT2Pv82InvdALizdwrJOtVYjNFcEeLiTxDZ2DQXyhGU5b0Vgua62Tnj8T8jeu5hQkwEGivMqTWpGh4v-qdwKVolPdYWGMLyGnd9spHwajcuEc4cRAN0rap7qopwHTHLv2anM/s1600/drooly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYS1FtsICOT2Pv82InvdALizdwrJOtVYjNFcEeLiTxDZ2DQXyhGU5b0Vgua62Tnj8T8jeu5hQkwEGivMqTWpGh4v-qdwKVolPdYWGMLyGnd9spHwajcuEc4cRAN0rap7qopwHTHLv2anM/s320/drooly.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Three months passed by where I managed to not completely lose my mind in an intense work placement, I went to a bunch of gigs, and I painted a load of toy soldiers. None of which I took photos of.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I now find myself to be, to a considerable extent, in France. Wine and cheese are plentiful. Everything else is a bit meh.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLIwgDfd8jH2fhRuORAlEvlT1qetm-w8BN3MHkK2naYcR-vz0x1x-zm99R9MzeBw1VXPKYEUBgecGuhg3lzgSLv6f2zCVeK63A4elx0375IimIsRcSUIZ_VQxExvrGyYkbRI9VrDuDLOQ/s1600/la+french+graffiti.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLIwgDfd8jH2fhRuORAlEvlT1qetm-w8BN3MHkK2naYcR-vz0x1x-zm99R9MzeBw1VXPKYEUBgecGuhg3lzgSLv6f2zCVeK63A4elx0375IimIsRcSUIZ_VQxExvrGyYkbRI9VrDuDLOQ/s320/la+french+graffiti.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my time here I have managed to see the mighty Godflesh, and also paint a bunch of grotz.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO6KKIvREDsadYaKvFXg0RvYfZz7wIVuETbH5rtKfAof3OWFJL5_m0mAvJusicZ-uWPGFZasYAOcum9krG2JItR4XqV9YYeujCkIMr8ACjjM4_f6KN1axKZUvuBMuWfbfQlw9IY5gcFzw/s1600/grotz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO6KKIvREDsadYaKvFXg0RvYfZz7wIVuETbH5rtKfAof3OWFJL5_m0mAvJusicZ-uWPGFZasYAOcum9krG2JItR4XqV9YYeujCkIMr8ACjjM4_f6KN1axKZUvuBMuWfbfQlw9IY5gcFzw/s320/grotz.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mNHaRLnSlvk6qmwVtdh18GZb0ms-PDyGh1W3P-UlfQcAuueKmsOKYRgLLEQcJnl74EvB_T7SNZW_HvV-XF0uyQeloPNNAWrnoMCA7DNn1B9xPVJvRmGBCzc9aVqO7aMhU0QAEBHyJSA/s1600/runtherdz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mNHaRLnSlvk6qmwVtdh18GZb0ms-PDyGh1W3P-UlfQcAuueKmsOKYRgLLEQcJnl74EvB_T7SNZW_HvV-XF0uyQeloPNNAWrnoMCA7DNn1B9xPVJvRmGBCzc9aVqO7aMhU0QAEBHyJSA/s320/runtherdz.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Grotz are ace because the only thing they are really good at is dying in huge numbers; so you only feel jipped if they don't die in droves. And even then they usually survive whilst lurking about near some kind of strategically important hill or spooky ruin or magic barrel of stuff or something, thereby winning the day for any other greenskins that have not yet been exploded by space communists or future nazis or electro wizards or whatever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This hopeless wall of cannon fodder was purchased from <a href="http://www.target-gaming.com/">Target Gaming</a>, the final solution for toy soldier excellence.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-68375071821826738902012-12-12T10:48:00.001+00:002012-12-12T10:48:21.177+00:00mynocks<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Waitomo is a small village roughly 120 miles south of Auckland. It has a population of about 50, and a couple of weeks ago<a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/7987225/Treasures-lost-as-fire-guts-iconic-bar"> its only pub burnt down</a> ("Patrons stopped to pay their respects..."Where am I going to drink now?" one asked"). So there is almost no reason to go there at all; except for the thousands of metres of caves. Which is why I went there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I booked myself onto a <a href="http://www.waitomo.com/cave-tubing.aspx">black water rafting thing</a>, which basically involves spending three hours navigating underground streams and rivers on an inflatable black rubber ring with a bunch of other suckers. The first challenge was getting into a wetsuit.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ0vSkgSfVh1KAjfW7-_T90KstV9BMZbpY1Qqp3R964O70Pd9sb_ztxolUluwvlV8MkhBy-iIDiNI5L7QjSucq-f-D8peMg-_K9nkghrfzE_DrfJqtZ_eQ878QUDVR9xtFNQxrmzV4FXg/s1600/black+water+rafter+nobbins.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ0vSkgSfVh1KAjfW7-_T90KstV9BMZbpY1Qqp3R964O70Pd9sb_ztxolUluwvlV8MkhBy-iIDiNI5L7QjSucq-f-D8peMg-_K9nkghrfzE_DrfJqtZ_eQ878QUDVR9xtFNQxrmzV4FXg/s400/black+water+rafter+nobbins.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was the most undignified thing I did all day; until about an hour and a half later, when I was floating through a cave sat in my rubber ring and my butt got grounded on a rock. All attempts to either paddle or stand up just resulted in a lot of desperate splashing and limb flailing. Ultimately I had to resort to a mixture of butt hopping and butt shuffling. Smooth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the bits where I wasn't flailing about like a moron were awesome. For a variety of reasons (but mostly just common sense), we weren't permitted to take our own cameras down there; so the following images have been ruthlessly purloined from the internets and cleverly edited so that I am in them.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4Onrjr8qAMtecRSfzAJnYp72bi4rymI-grNjh6kzBKX1ajU6HAbguDkPNudOlJIk4BXzO8vJbueRmPY5sV7d9wy_3EGLzMLNSKZlDYnUe-fTxCKttfOMTFYUNuf_eXCLd7r4sLhkAg0/s1600/bwr01.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm4Onrjr8qAMtecRSfzAJnYp72bi4rymI-grNjh6kzBKX1ajU6HAbguDkPNudOlJIk4BXzO8vJbueRmPY5sV7d9wy_3EGLzMLNSKZlDYnUe-fTxCKttfOMTFYUNuf_eXCLd7r4sLhkAg0/s400/bwr01.png" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGFeseADhhQNZL0VdoWRJEfI1ruX02iSREHjsFv0ysUQGrDHD3hUX5tcVmvXavOUKe58fdUJpk6i4wqf88t65AgJLvo2fTgc8OmoipsNeeDfxBiwcuZlnazIloRX_-jjmc0yizcXhGj4/s1600/bwr02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiGFeseADhhQNZL0VdoWRJEfI1ruX02iSREHjsFv0ysUQGrDHD3hUX5tcVmvXavOUKe58fdUJpk6i4wqf88t65AgJLvo2fTgc8OmoipsNeeDfxBiwcuZlnazIloRX_-jjmc0yizcXhGj4/s400/bwr02.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ-ksXKU4x6zsSksYoHnqPDBxKJEo3nIisZKo95hsFqTSJjE9N5KUioT2Qf-uL1-orRS894Yk2KnAqLMYcuSnYWNJp7-liQ7JoRjqe1sJDx1RjzbIlUjKBXBb8wfdi4dGmPGU9FizhdEo/s1600/bwr03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ-ksXKU4x6zsSksYoHnqPDBxKJEo3nIisZKo95hsFqTSJjE9N5KUioT2Qf-uL1-orRS894Yk2KnAqLMYcuSnYWNJp7-liQ7JoRjqe1sJDx1RjzbIlUjKBXBb8wfdi4dGmPGU9FizhdEo/s400/bwr03.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We eventually emerged blinking into the sunlight, having not succumbed to ravenous glowworms, eels or monsters; then it was back to base for a hot shower, mug of soup and a toasted bagel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With just the afternoon left to play about with, I decided to whizz around and tick a few other crap tourist boxes. Just a few miles down the road from Waitomo is Te Kuiti, "the sheep-shearing capital of the world", where every year the main street bears witness to death-defying acts of bravery in the fearsome Running of the Sheep. At the end of Rora Street is the "Big Shearer", a seven metre high, seven and a half tonne statue celebrating their proud sheepy heritage.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDPq3PF-wuRUTExAsxti3HoQVvwengG2QhYfpwbUyMfAeD9qGyepFlIfdBxJszA0-vVUef9zUppSWzHHR03cNMoB-dbbmiQZe0VZxvuQpWtHMyZ21-tBVzDImWZBIOOp0LVFgj_Zh7H9o/s1600/big+shearer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDPq3PF-wuRUTExAsxti3HoQVvwengG2QhYfpwbUyMfAeD9qGyepFlIfdBxJszA0-vVUef9zUppSWzHHR03cNMoB-dbbmiQZe0VZxvuQpWtHMyZ21-tBVzDImWZBIOOp0LVFgj_Zh7H9o/s400/big+shearer.JPG" width="300" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the way home I stopped briefly in Hamilton to check out another famous statue. The life-size statue of Richard O'Brien (in the guise of Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show) stands over the former site of the Embassy Theatre, allegedly the birthplace of the cult musical and also where he worked as a hairdresser for a number of years in the late 50s/early 60s.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWeH14A-KWxngJ5GnBkYATrSm_YYWkIdiF9Tvg-j8dRXsnHEwt1_9KbNrLJWyThoOEFLxIS4mbFro_9fwNy-k-AF9jI_hIHN3MqaZIeP8R49EV8XKp14nVEiBRLzjbsApeoPgT-MSpA9w/s1600/richard+o+brien+statue.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWeH14A-KWxngJ5GnBkYATrSm_YYWkIdiF9Tvg-j8dRXsnHEwt1_9KbNrLJWyThoOEFLxIS4mbFro_9fwNy-k-AF9jI_hIHN3MqaZIeP8R49EV8XKp14nVEiBRLzjbsApeoPgT-MSpA9w/s400/richard+o+brien+statue.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day I managed to get back to Christchurch without too much trouble. My housemate came to collect me from the airport; we also managed to pick up a nice old lady whose lift had fallen through on her. She didn't live quite as near to our house as she originally suggested... but we gave her a lift anyway, and she repaid our kindness/gullibility with a big jar of runny homemade marmalade, which we have no chance of finishing before we have to head back to the UK.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This all left just enough time to get beer and pizza, and to decorate DeathCar2000 with some totally sickass Hawaiian Air graphics that I had acquired legitimately from the Auckland office.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMn2pxji8fYlUY8fW6aLjttDRcJ9oCxT183ZzAl6eu5fi8hL3reyjFzjgv3ewhGTlCshJkEAA4ofSWlzMyO_hTiDZ71_ZURgAV8AJjfeKi373Lc0KcjnMsO_IiCQNDOTB6fgzlfM-_pU/s1600/bling+graffix+dawg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDMn2pxji8fYlUY8fW6aLjttDRcJ9oCxT183ZzAl6eu5fi8hL3reyjFzjgv3ewhGTlCshJkEAA4ofSWlzMyO_hTiDZ71_ZURgAV8AJjfeKi373Lc0KcjnMsO_IiCQNDOTB6fgzlfM-_pU/s400/bling+graffix+dawg.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sinister foreign confectionery this week: Moro Gold.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQOlY35XDgqgPwcOvaZ8Y19qXkE9u8f7i7xRCLBIbLBkv2nIYcFUcmqLw8rrpzAwUmI_zKIDrYqWFEIbm8nuQDIdK6NNJ_TE43Cy_gLAPlDfSQeCwCW6G6mzO30NTTyEGU2ue6TgtrgXI/s1600/moro+gold.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="75" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQOlY35XDgqgPwcOvaZ8Y19qXkE9u8f7i7xRCLBIbLBkv2nIYcFUcmqLw8rrpzAwUmI_zKIDrYqWFEIbm8nuQDIdK6NNJ_TE43Cy_gLAPlDfSQeCwCW6G6mzO30NTTyEGU2ue6TgtrgXI/s400/moro+gold.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's kind of like a Boost bar, but with less girth.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-56066998085215784292012-12-04T09:39:00.000+00:002012-12-04T09:40:37.350+00:00i'm taking the avenir to hobbiton<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This week I have swapped places with my counterpart in the North Island, so that we can each see what the differences/similarities are between our respective jobs. This means that I have traded the raw power, explosive acceleration and pop-up headlights of DeathCar2000 for his diesel Nissan Avenir automatic (boo); but it also means that I get the opportunity to do a tiny bit of exploring on a whole other island (huzzah).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before this could happen, I had to get here; and that meant finding out all about how standby tickets work, because that is what work booked for me. What happens is you get a ticket for the 1855 flight out of Christchurch; but it's totally sold out, so the only way you're getting on that plane is if you challenge one of the other passengers to MORTAL KOMBAT and totally <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT7BFRyCYQY">Liu Kang</a> them to pieces.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or you could wait until the next flight... except that one's booked up too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so is the one after that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the 2130 flight is okay... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...except that it lands at 2300. And once you've crammed yourself and your luggage onto a bus and then bimbled aimlessly through the murky streets of an unfamiliar city to a hotel apartment block thing, it's closer to midnight; and you can't help but think that rather than spending two and half hours trapped in an airport departure lounge with no bar, it might have been nice to do something else. Like stay at home and have some dinner, for example.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, I'm here now. First impressions are that the North Island is like the root mean square of the South Island; whilst the latter consists of vast flat planes punctuated by unfathomable verticality, the former is generally lower but lumpier. The main thing the North Island has that the South doesn't is volcanoes and all sorts of other geothermal nonsense. Most of the really good stuff is just a bit too far south to make for a convenient weekend trip from Auckland, but I did manage to make it to Rotorua. Rotorua is home to Lake Rotorua, which translates as "the second lake" - so called because it was the second lake that the intrepid Maori explorer had seen that day. Apparently it used to be a big-ass volcano; now its just a big-ass lake.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not much to look at, really. A little way down the road, however, is Te Whakarewarewa - a "living thermal village". It is home to what I guess could be referred to as modernised Maori. They drive cars, wear trousers and no longer eat interlopers (or so our tour guide assured us); but they still observe many traditional customs and practices. The village itself is situated on a thin crust of earth that struggles to contain the sheer geothermal power of science that bubbles away beneath. This gives rise to geysers, hot bubbling mud, clouds of sulphurous steam, holes in the ground that are slowly swallowing houses, and thermal pools that reach temperatures of up to 172 degrees (because of science).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The hot pools are used for bathing and cooking (though not generally in that order). The mud pools used to be used as final resting places for the deceased; the body would be wrapped up in flax and then forced beneath the surface, eventually slipping away to who knows where. Then whitey turned up and explained that the proper way to bury the dead was to put them in a casket and then put the casket in a hole six feet deep. They hadn't accounted for the fact that the ground they were digging into was a bit lively, and the caskets would gradually re-surface over a period of time... so they gave up on that idea, and nowadays the dead get entombed in concrete boxes on top of the ground. A few of them have wee chimneys to help relieve any steam pressure that might build up, thereby minimising the potential for any exploding steam corpse unpleasantness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following day the inevitability of me being a nerd in New Zealand was finally realised in full, and I went to Hobbiton.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, so there are probably far nerdier things I could have done; but it still felt like an anorak-clad pilgrimage of sorts. When the first films were made, the hobbit-holes were all temporary constructions made out of polystyrene and bits of plywood painted up to look like the real thing. Once filming was complete, the set had to be completely destroyed for environmental and copyright reasons. The owners of the farm on which the set was built realised that they'd missed a trick, and when the set was rebuilt for filming of The Hobbit they made sure that it would be more of a permanent fixture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course they're all still just façades, the largest hobbit-holes still only extending a few feet beyond the front door. The one notable exception being the Green Dragon pub, which is fully functional (and presumably available to hire for weddings and bar mitzvahs); and it was here that the tour concluded with a delicious mug of beer.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It didn't come in pints.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A trio of sinister foreign chocolate bars this week...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAARJ1JGpGeLPGbCFwZqNVqflVDdW9veFOU_jDn4HCbX-qHN8G30IvOr3WfAVHwe7DEpw74HmAQ7SJIYHaWD5nJNwNKq3oQu4uPzCmFEQXCSOg3QTAzXdjSqRvgutNZVaUiCHNpAI0bt4/s1600/kit+kat+chunky+3.JPG" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAARJ1JGpGeLPGbCFwZqNVqflVDdW9veFOU_jDn4HCbX-qHN8G30IvOr3WfAVHwe7DEpw74HmAQ7SJIYHaWD5nJNwNKq3oQu4uPzCmFEQXCSOg3QTAzXdjSqRvgutNZVaUiCHNpAI0bt4/s320/kit+kat+chunky+3.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember when KitKats used to be the rubbish chocolate coated wafer biscuit you might get with your packed lunch if you were lucky. Then along came the KitKat Chunky, which had the same amount of wafer but about a million times more chocolate. And now we have the KitKat Chunky 3; basically a KitKat Chunky that has been split into three sections, and then had those three sections filled with stuff. Any traces of wafer you should happen to find probably got there by mistake.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When confronted by three flavours of KitKat Chunky 3, I was overcome with a mixture of indecision and joy at the mathematical symmetry of it all; and so I got one each of Chocolate, Caramel and Cookies & Cream. They all tasted of toothache.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DEATH TO FALSE KITKATS</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-83707646142290686492012-11-27T10:14:00.001+00:002012-11-28T06:06:50.855+00:00and oh, the sweetness of the air<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It would be a shame to travel all the way to a country where they have regular V8 races and to not watch some V8 races; so last weekend I went to watch some V8 races.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On Saturday night I went to Woodford Glen Speedway to watch dirt track death racing with post apocalypse deathtrap cars of death.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was sort of comparable to UK stock cars and banger racing; louder and faster (some of the modified stocks were pulling wheelies as they accelerated off the back of the final corner), but much less destructive. Although one chap still managed to flip his Super Saloon on the back straight, messing up his car and bruising his elbow in the process.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day I went to Ruapuna Park to watch something slightly more civilised; V8 Supertourers, the Kiwi equivalent of Aussie V8 touring cars. Support races took the form of Rennsport (a load of German stuff) and classic muscle car racing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a pretty fun waste of a few days, and almost helped to take my mind off the fact that I was completely missing the final race of an enthralling F1 season. Thanks, NZ telly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also finished painting some toys this week; a Big Mek with a kustum force field...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...and a Painboy with his grot minion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The painboy is great for making Nobz mobz much more expensive and only slightly more survivable. The Big Mek with his whizzy gubbinz does much the same thing but on a slightly larger scale; thereby having a mediocre effect on a much larger proportion of the army.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sinister foreign confectionery; Whittaker's. It's not a single type of chocolate bar - Whittaker's will happily sell you a whole range of yummy things to stuff into your stupid face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've chosen the Bittersweet Peanut Slab not because it is especially delicious (they're all delicious) or exotic (none of them are exotic), but because I like the black and gold packaging. It reminds me of the JPS Lotus cars from the seventies and eighties.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-16731964607145459262012-11-25T07:23:00.000+00:002012-11-25T07:23:00.955+00:00foonting turling dromes<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two centuries before New Zealand was established as a British colony, a Dutch seafarer by the name of Abel Tasman made the first contact between the outside world and the Maori when he stumbled upon the north coast of New Zealand's South Island. When the Maori came out in their canoes and made their traditional "friend or foe" challenges, the Dutch responded by noisily blowing trumpets at them. The Maori were clearly not keen fans of this sort of free-form jazz, as when the Dutch lowered a boat to go and meet with them it was attacked, and four crewman killed. Abel decided that he didn't need to actually set foot on land to have discovered it, and fucked off with some haste, settling on the name Nieuw Zeeland.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last weekend we went to have a vague poke at the national park named after Abel Tasman. It is called Abel Tasman National Park.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We started by driving up to Nelson on Thursday night, then went up the road to Marahau the next morning. At Marahau we hired a sea kayak; or, as my boss referred to it, divorce boat. Which suggests that he too may have experienced kayak rage at some point... the problem with two-man kayaks is that the person on the back controls the rudder and therefore determines the direction of travel, regardless of how much the person on the front tries paddling to one side. Meanwhile the person on the back has to try to keep paddling in time with the person on the front, which is really difficult if the person on the front has no sense of rhythm, or occasionally stops paddling for no reason at all and starts whistling. Whistling?! Why the fuck are you whistling?! Paddle, damn you! PADDLE!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We managed to get to get to Watering Cove without killing each other, took a short walk over to Anchorage Bay or Cove or Something, and found our accommodation for the night - the Aquapackers floating dormitory thing. We gained entry by standing on the shore and waving until someone noticed us and came over in a wee boat to get us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In spite of being trapped on what would be most diplomatically described as a "cosy" boat with a load of other people and a desperately short supply of booze, it was actually quite bearable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we walked through the forests back to Marahau, with a slight detour to check out Cleopatra's Pool (a rock in a pond). I went for a bit of a paddle; the water was so cold it made my feet hurt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we drove to Kaiteriteri, and had a look at split apple rock (a rock which looks a bit like a split apple).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's not much else to do in Kaiteriteri, so we went and had a long look at the inside of a pub. We stumbled back to our shitbox hostel to discover that we were sharing our room with a girl that snored loudly, and a couple that spent hours - and I mean hours - in the evening noisily moving things from one immense backpack to another immense backpack and then back into the first backpack, seemingly in an effort to fit twelve bags worth of crap into one bag. They were still vainly attempting to defy the laws of physics the following morning, so we fucked off for a vague bimbly drive along some of the twisty roads in the hills before finally heading for home through the countless vineyards of the north and then down along the west coast.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sinister foreign confectionery this week took the form of a Chokito.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Chokito is kind of like a finger of fudge that has been dipped in chocolate, rolled in biscuity bits, and then dipped in more chocolate. It surpassed all expectations by being not only edible, but also quite delicious. Blimey.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-5469151408112761802012-11-21T04:39:00.000+00:002012-11-21T04:39:26.650+00:00the sky resembles a backlit canapé<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As you head towards Lake Tekapo you pass a sign that proclaims it to be a "Scientific Reserve". Or maybe it was "<i>Scenic</i> Reserve"? That would probably make more sense. In any case, it summoned up images in my mind of bespectacled men in white coats roaming the planes, solving complex differential equations and growing ears on the backs of small mammals.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out that it just means they have a big field and an observatory. We've seen fields before, so we went to check out the observatory and watch the skis. The night sky was obligingly clear, allowing us to see clouds of stars instead of actual clouds; as well as Jupiter and four of its moons and some other twinkly crap.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we stopped in to visit one of the chaps from work. He and his family own a wee holiday home in Twizel, and they were kind enough to fill us with lunch and then take us out for a blat around Lake Ruataniwha on their boat. I'm not much of an expert on these things, but I reckon their approach is pretty much spot on; get a small boat because it's cheap, and then slap the biggest engine possible on the back off it. I can't be sure of how fast it went because none of the dials worked, but it was fast enough to give a chap a whole different kind of haircut and purge my brain of everything but the theme tune to Magnum PI.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After that we headed up the road to Mt Cook. I had thought that Mt Cook played the part of the angry mountain (Caradhras) in The Fellowship; but apparently that was Mt Earnslaw. However Mt Cook and the rest of the surrounding Southern Alps did star as The Misty Mountains, and so in theory is still home to Balrogs. The Southern Alps did a bit of a turn in the lighting-of-the-beacons bit too. And it also turns out that the Battle of the Pelennor Fields was filmed in the vast rolling brownlands around Twizel, though I don't recall seeing much in the way of rotting Mumakil carcasses. Perhaps stoats have devoured them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stoats are, by the way, New Zealand's deadliest predator. Fact. Before humans started stumbling all over it, New Zealand had only three species of native mammal; and they were all types of bat. Mostly New Zealand was home to insects and a bazillion kinds of retarded bird, until Europeans brought over stuff to eat, shoot and wear. Stoats were introduced in an attempt to control the rampant rabbit population... this failed horribly for a number of reasons. First off, stoats are raging psychopaths; secondly, rabbits are wise to their stoaty ways and will peg it at the first sign of any stoaty trouble; and third New Zealand's birds are, as previously stated, retarded. For example, the Kakapo.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The kakapo is a flightless parrot whose natural defence is to stand very still and pretend to be a bush. The stoats fucked those chumps up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, we rounded the day off by going for a bimble along Hooker Valley, on the west side of Mt Wakefield. Hooker Valley wasn't <i>entirely</i> what I was expecting, but it still offered some good views and only mildly terrifying swing bridges over raging boulder-strewn rivers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And at the end of it all, just past a big freezing lake and a lot of signs promising near certain avalanchey death to any traveller foolhardy enough to venture any further, the ominous mass of Hooker Glacier was just visible through the mists.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we went up the other side of Mt Wakefield to bimble along Tasman Valley. The first thing we found were the Blue Lakes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Blue Lakes were less like lakes and more like ponds to my eyes, but for the absence of frogspawn and a half-submerged shopping trolley. Also not very blue. If I understand correctly, these are sink holes left behind in the wake of the retreating glacier; and are pretty much the same size as Lake Tasman would have been twenty or so years ago. Lake Tasman is pretty big nowadays.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We carried on bimbling along the valley track, the lake concealed behind a large and mostly treacherous looking ridge of rocks and boulders. After a few hours of walking we found a slightly more stable looking pile of rocks and clambered over them to discover that we had gone past the end of the lake and were now alongside Tasman Glacier.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sort of expected the glacier to either be a huge groaning cliff face of glistening ice or a big mint with a polar bear standing on it. It is of course neither of these things. The glacier is a big chunk of ice several hundred metres deep, but is almost entirely concealed beneath a couple of metres of rocks - the remains of the surrounding landscape that has been ground out by the glacier, left behind as the glacier melts away. The result is a desolate, alien landscape that's kind of cool but not very pretty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whilst sat on our teetering pile of avalanche fodder, I experienced the questionable delights of the Mighty Perky Nana.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQixiTnEm8fbHdCJncuhN3LJQwcGIL-GZhx8qsk40YXc5Yn1Tg9ELQCK5SXAG31ryQrc6yVogF8cV-3xY-yOUgo1ycYQCGBPq0kn-sBbovTRsara-B2RbYDzRS6Gc-HT_z5kg7-JFlY_E/s1600/Mighty+Perky+Nana.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="93" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQixiTnEm8fbHdCJncuhN3LJQwcGIL-GZhx8qsk40YXc5Yn1Tg9ELQCK5SXAG31ryQrc6yVogF8cV-3xY-yOUgo1ycYQCGBPq0kn-sBbovTRsara-B2RbYDzRS6Gc-HT_z5kg7-JFlY_E/s400/Mighty+Perky+Nana.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is a chocolate covered banana chew thing - basically the same as Pineapple Lumps, except that it tastes of banana. Apart from the first mouthful, which tasted kind of like cheese. And the rest of it, which tasted like horror. Die in a fire, Mighty Perky Nana.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-50681919440644609152012-11-13T08:04:00.002+00:002012-11-13T11:09:12.622+00:00servings<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay, so this is about a week late. I literally do not care.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two weekends ago DeathCar2000 went to Kaikoura, about 180km north of Christchurch. Here, the mountainous landscape drops away sharply into the sea to a depth of over 80m, and then plummets to around 800m... the deep waters and merging of cool and warm currents results in all kinds of very edible sea life splashing about quite close to the shore. Sea food features heavily on just about every menu in town, with most places noisily advertising crayfish meals. Crayfish meal = facehugger & chips.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not all of the sea life is there for the express purpose of being eaten; these lazy bastard seals were hanging out at the peninsula on the first day that we got to Kaikoura. They apparently do this quite a lot, as there were signs all about warning that if you get too close they'll eat your face to pieces.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of Kaikoura's history is tied up with whales. The oldest (and pinkest) surviving building in Kaikoura is Fyffe house, built in 1842 by Scottish whaler Robert Fyfe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whales were apparently in far greater supply than building materials in the 1840s, as the house is built on foundations of whale vertebrae. After many successful years of hunting whales Robert Fyfe started to go a bit mad, and wound up dead after bimbling off into the sea. The house was passed on to a relative whose name I forget; and she in turn sold it on for a huge sum of money to another relative, George Fyffe, who had long wanted to get on this lucrative whaling malarkey. Unfortunately for him the arse had fallen out of the whaling market a few years previously, and he was left completely bankrupted. Meanwhile the rest of the population of Kaikoura, being a bunch hard-drinkin', shit-kickin', whale-huntin' badasses, found themselves with no whale-huntin' to do; and so stuck to the hard-drinkin' and shit-kickin' instead. Kaikoura descended into wild lawlessness, until the arrival of Joseph Goodall who in 1867 bought Fyffe House, took up the post of district constable and restored law and order with little more than a pistol and a pair of handcuffs. What a hero.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whales are still an important part of the local economy in Kaikoura; although these days it's less about rendering blubber and more about whale-watching. There are many different ways to see whales in Kaikoura; you can get in a light aircraft, board a ship, go for a helicopter ride, hire a sea kayak... the whale-watching option we took was to cane a six-pack in the hostel, and then spot a whale just 100m or so out from the shore as we stumbled off in search of a pub. Huzzah! This called for many celebratory drinkums.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we stepped out blinking and bleary-eyed into hideous, glorious sunshine. With the whale-watching box ticked (sort of), the only thing left to do in Kaikoura was to find a mountain and climb it. It's not difficult to find mountains, since the only thing big enough for them to hide behind is other mountains; and our task was made easier by the fact that Mt Fyffe was clearly visible from the front door of the shitbox hostel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mt Fyffe, you're going down. Or we're going up. Either way, a relative translation of position is going to occur.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The walking route up Mt Fyffe isn't especially difficult to follow, as it's a 4x4 track - not that we saw anyone driving on it. It was a pretty steep gradient, and my legs were more than a little hurty the following day... I experienced a good few pangs of vertigo here and there too, particularly on the bits where the track was on the very spine of the hill and the world just dropped away to either side. Eek.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We kept going until we reached the hut, 1100m up; I figured that was probably far enough. We'd ascended high enough that we were into the clouds (the same ones obscuring the top of the mountain in that photo of the harbour), and there was snow everywhere; and although it would have only taken another hour and a half to reach the summit (another 500m up), it would have made for an even longer walk back; and it's not like we'd have got a view of anything other clouds from up there anyway.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day we were back in Christchurch, and in the evening took the short trip to New Brighton beach to watch stuff explode in celebration of the capture and torture of either a fierce revolutionary, or a dastardly terrorist (depending on how many Che Guevara t-shirts you own/how catholic you are). It was free; which is good because it means it didn't cost us anything. It's almost as though the organisers have realised the folly of charging people to see something that is happening in the sky and is visible for miles around. Despite being free, it was a very fine display indeed; the fireworks were set of along the length of the pier, which is like an actual pier as opposed to the amusement-arcade-suspended-over-water that we're more used to. On the whole it was well worth dealing with crowds of people and getting pocketses filled with sand for.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sinister foreign confectionery this week was a Cherry Ripe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's kind of cheating, since I've had them before; so although it was still quite foreign, it wasn't too sinister. I quite like Cherry Ripes, but I'm not convinced that I'd ever bother with them if they were generally available; finding bits of coconut stuck in my teeth half a day later is too irritating for there to be any chance of Cherry Ripe finding it's way into my top three.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-68972899768093812972012-11-02T07:06:00.002+00:002012-11-02T07:08:02.429+00:00hitler skelter<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My temporary housemate and I decided last weekend that it might be nice to do something that didn't involve a 1000+ km round trip; so we went on a little jaunt over to Akaroa in the Banks Peninsula.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lying around 50km to the south east of the city, the peninsula is essentially a massive crater that was created as the result of a couple of volcanic eruptions many, many years ago. If I'm learning nothing else out here, it's that the two things New Zealand do really well are big fucking hills and badass natural disasters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We stopped off for lunch in the Hilltop Pub. Because I am a stupid, I only took a photo of the boring buildingy bit and neglected to capture for posterity the view from the garden, which consisted of 1) the distant shimmery wet bit of the Banks Peninsula surrounded by big craggy hills, 2) a sheep munching away at the grass just the other side of the fence, and 3) a splendid jerk chicken burger and a jug of beer to wash it down with. There was also a surprising number of vintage motorcycles parked outside; I completely failed to capture these too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then on to Akaroa. 160 years ago Akaroa was a French settlement, and a lot of the people living there now are direct descendants - there were more than a few tricolores fluttering in the breeze, and lots of the streets are called Rue De something or other. It was all terribly quaint, and with all the surrounding hills it felt like we were in the middle of a huge crater. Because we literally were.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The main road around the peninsula is called Summit Road, and runs pretty much along the crest of the hills. The best views from Summit Road were of the road itself as we drove along it; but what with the sheer drops and the lack of barriers and the fucked front shocks lending DeathCar2000's steering the kind of vagueness that really focuses a chaps mind, I thought it best not to try to take any photos en route. I think you can Street View most of it anyway. Meanwhile, there were plenty of other spots along the way to stop and waste more cameraphone battery, including Le Bons Bay; a nice little spot which, as far as I can tell, has absolutely nothing to do with the frontman of Duran Duran.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following day I would have gone to a classic motorsport shenanigan at the local raceway, but it turns out that I'm too stupid to use a calendar. So instead we stayed at home and didn't go anywhere; which actually made for quite a pleasant change. I used the time to finish off painting some toys...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A mob of five lootaz. Mobz of five are great because you can fit the whole unit under a single blast template, and when they all die in one go it saves a lot of going back and forth between the table and the figure case.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Units of five; efficient.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sinister foreign candy this week took the form of Pascall's Pineapple Lumps.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjedKk3IWcnOXw4Q57EQUJPkGCCNJbb5fCd7bE3F5KZUrAkjIZXW4KaMUETMSkhc9Zh0Z0xh0wOZmGujh8En9-0eRdzPypRGsX21OuGKAe-aiSRrIvdnh_6pJ7ghPtWtWT7TqVjuPQhkZQ/s1600/pineapple+lumps.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="104" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjedKk3IWcnOXw4Q57EQUJPkGCCNJbb5fCd7bE3F5KZUrAkjIZXW4KaMUETMSkhc9Zh0Z0xh0wOZmGujh8En9-0eRdzPypRGsX21OuGKAe-aiSRrIvdnh_6pJ7ghPtWtWT7TqVjuPQhkZQ/s320/pineapple+lumps.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The packet proudly proclaims the contents to be "artificial flavoured" - and I can confirm this to be the case. It was like eating dense slabs of vaguely pineappley yellow rubber. Not the worst thing I've eaten since I got here, but that's mainly because I've eaten a Pinky and a Reel Rainbow Big Fish.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-56640162937404193842012-10-24T11:18:00.000+01:002012-10-24T11:18:26.405+01:00this week i didn't drown or send deathcar2000 plunging off a mountainside or get keelhauled by pirates or nibbled to death by fiordland crested penguins or anything<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was decided that this weekend a cruise in Fiordland National Park would be had. There were two choices; Doubtful Sound or Milford Sound. Doubtful won over Milford partly because it has a cooler name, but mainly because it's easier to get to. Not least because <a href="http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/workers-scramble-reopen-milford-rd-before-labour-weekend-5136309">the only road to Milford got blocked by an avalanche on Friday night</a>, and work was still going on to clear some of the 500 tonne boulders out of the way. Apparently the rocks are too hench to break apart by regular means, so they're drilling holes into them and blasting them apart with explosives. Kaboom! I suspect that it's little more than a weak excuse to blow stuff up - good for them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We drove down to Queenstown Friday night, checking into our shitbox hostel just after 11. The next morning we left early to get to Manapouri, where the cruise kicked off. We got on a boat that took us across Lake Manapouri, dropping us off at the other end next to what is apparently the Manapouri power station; but it looked more like some villainous lair to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From there it was a six mile coach journey along the moderately precarious Wilmot's pass to the end of Doubtful sound and the start of our cruise aboard the Fiordland Navigator.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The weather was cold and wet, which meant that by and large, we were cold and wet; but the upside was that the lakes hidden from view way up in the hills and mountains were overflowing and there were waterfalls everywhere. The landscape has been sculpted by glaciers over millions of years, lending the whole place a lovely baroque feel that Slatibartfast would surely approve of. Great jagged chunks of granite rise almost vertically out of the waters; moss clings to the rock and creates an environment in which seeds can begin to grow and eventually forests form on the rock, all the roots locked together to form a huge arboreal toupée. It's absurdly pretty, completely wild and raw, and mostly made me think of Jurassic Park.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ship took us out all the way to where the Sound meets the sea for a bit of seal spotting, then headed back in to seek calmer waters so we could engage in various activities. Eventually we made anchor in Precipice Cove, and I got to do a spot of kayaking in the rain. There's probably some sort of knack to kayaking where you don't use the paddle to scoop up quantities of freezing cold water and tip it down your sleeves, but I don't have it. Then dinner, then bar, then sleep... The ship set off early the next morning to make the most of the morning sun. A few dolphins were swimming alongside us briefly, a handful of penguins could be spotted huddling under the trees on a few rocks, and with the sun out the place got even more ludicrously pretty. There was a bit more pootling about, and then the return journey - much the same as the outward trip, but in reverse and with a lot less rain.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-M05xu0jjiWjpNaodWFDjXdbhq_bwnirUft5C0Z59TU96gGPwdxOPeyexYhar2amSRMrXs4jXD47I1LJJHdVVIGlKb5XcxnyteOY1XrRN6KOxcrRqpaAACoGTrmYMDMAN1D68xf_jiu8/s1600/doubtful+sound+03.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-M05xu0jjiWjpNaodWFDjXdbhq_bwnirUft5C0Z59TU96gGPwdxOPeyexYhar2amSRMrXs4jXD47I1LJJHdVVIGlKb5XcxnyteOY1XrRN6KOxcrRqpaAACoGTrmYMDMAN1D68xf_jiu8/s320/doubtful+sound+03.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnsGDNz7pEyaHDcwLGzd_17fft1mYMNfQgQCBP-A61nYlcATY4ngzSHvmGo8Nrm8X57Co4ZXDgRKY7x2IF3RbRG-iMed__9zTV0QXa18AW3BeL26A6twI6Pip98sVJiNSZfxBgiUaTl8/s1600/doubtful+sound+04.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnsGDNz7pEyaHDcwLGzd_17fft1mYMNfQgQCBP-A61nYlcATY4ngzSHvmGo8Nrm8X57Co4ZXDgRKY7x2IF3RbRG-iMed__9zTV0QXa18AW3BeL26A6twI6Pip98sVJiNSZfxBgiUaTl8/s320/doubtful+sound+04.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We got back to Manapouri about midday on Sunday. From there we drove up to Te Anau and suckered ourselves into doing <a href="http://www.realjourneys.co.nz/Main/GlowwormCaves/">some glow worm cave tour thing</a> - it was kind of expensive for what it was, but very cool nonetheless. No photos, because flash photography freaks out the glow worms; they feed off the light and swell to immense proportions, consuming people and boats in single mighty gulps (possibly). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to the hostel in Queenstown to eat some crap dinner, and then we went off in search of a pub. Queenstown has many of these, but we settled for the one that provided entertainment courtesy of <i>Taxi</i>, a jazz funk trio. There were six of them. I'd like to think that a jazz funk trio is one of those special numbers; much like a baker's dozen is equal to 13, a jazz funk trio is equal to any number you can think of (albeit governed by complex algebra based on floor space, critical funk mass and the division of beer money). They were awesome and unexpected, and seemed to be taking it in turns to try to derail each song by freaking out and playing some insane solo. The drummer was most successful in this respect; everyone else had to stop playing while he smashed the crap out of his drumkit for a solid two minutes... you could see their brows furrow in concentration as they struggled to pick up a beat to get back in with... damn, they were funky.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following day was mostly spent driving back from Queenstown. We took a slightly different (longer) route, winding through some steep and twisty Crown Range mountain roads to get to another pretty lakeside town, Wanaka; and then the rest of the long drive back home.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnTRjFaZpavqYnu9rWF45XWEpQ85nZ7Rlv2617V7-yhaxUbwUENhTl7wjUjE6k94RIhuTg1BnodBx-7HyLMVJxXpaFsdc5eYJOKApuOxEUiKI5KWWhOMki-wPtv0Q2myOcNa1rVAVjvc/s1600/view+from+crown+range.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnTRjFaZpavqYnu9rWF45XWEpQ85nZ7Rlv2617V7-yhaxUbwUENhTl7wjUjE6k94RIhuTg1BnodBx-7HyLMVJxXpaFsdc5eYJOKApuOxEUiKI5KWWhOMki-wPtv0Q2myOcNa1rVAVjvc/s320/view+from+crown+range.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was the delicate whiff of burning clutch in the air by the time we got to the top of Crown Range; but apart from this DeathCar2000 took it all in its stride and is exceeding expectations, in so far as it is still running and showing no signs whatsoever of ever stopping ever. It has turned up more surprises in the last week or so; underneath the passenger seat I discovered a pair of socks (urgh), the case for Now32 (thankfully empty - phew) and a Black Eyed Peas CD case which contained no Black Eyed Peas, but two Ministry of Sound Dubstep compilations. Dubsteb is infinitely better than the Black Eyed Peas; but only one of the front speakers works in DeathCar2000, and the rear speakers don't seem to cope well with low frequencies; so anything to loud and/or bassy comes out as a painful, repetitive crackling sound. The sound of speakers dying. The sound of butchered music.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still better than the Black Eyed Peas.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Despite these minor indiscretions, DeathCar2000 easily ranks somewhere in the top three of cars that I currently own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In recognition of my various nautical antics, this week's sinister foreign confectionery was the "Reel Rainbow Big Fish". </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1qyXYPmjwWajGhEqMRxdEPjxk6w_9g2oYfRZJXWQO8kOPZ2YC2Vg4mWtsoU3kiIKG7gFntAIFUY_JExyouLeWNUit4hX0n-t0hi3LjRiyinzgGtqgSYRYLp4K7DWyrRj5LgfGV1slUY/s1600/reel+fish-shaped+turd.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK1qyXYPmjwWajGhEqMRxdEPjxk6w_9g2oYfRZJXWQO8kOPZ2YC2Vg4mWtsoU3kiIKG7gFntAIFUY_JExyouLeWNUit4hX0n-t0hi3LjRiyinzgGtqgSYRYLp4K7DWyrRj5LgfGV1slUY/s320/reel+fish-shaped+turd.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVL4VELCnGQ9lm9JD_zy8LA8SkOvj62Tp4-MgfmQPdm5rbHkJ7PM-CbWkS8y7una1Wo056gkD54ZC1yyZ4rMhfMeVlKPrkEE1RlSk3rK83OfeE-XveHzY03xmDGWtharTx4ruh7-jg27w/s1600/reel+rainbow+big+fish.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVL4VELCnGQ9lm9JD_zy8LA8SkOvj62Tp4-MgfmQPdm5rbHkJ7PM-CbWkS8y7una1Wo056gkD54ZC1yyZ4rMhfMeVlKPrkEE1RlSk3rK83OfeE-XveHzY03xmDGWtharTx4ruh7-jg27w/s320/reel+rainbow+big+fish.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was supplied by the vending machine at work in exchange for the princely sum of $1.50. I have never seen one for sale anywhere else ever, which could mean that the company that produces them does so exclusively for the benefit of the employees at my workplace; or it could mean that they stopped making and selling these things years ago, and the old stock is just sitting in the vending machine waiting for suckers to buy it. Probably that one. The Reel Rainbow Big Fish is a lump of dense sugary pink marshmallow covered in brown chocosubstance, and nothing more. It's like a teacake; but without the biscuity layer, fluffy marshmallow and actual chocolate coating. Also it is bigger, and almost shaped like some kind of hideous malformed fish. I did not care for it. If I saw a Reel Rainbow Big Fish in the street, I would fight it.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-32552612007939409102012-10-15T11:56:00.000+01:002012-10-15T11:56:47.331+01:00boldly going where thousands of people have been going for thousands of years<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5FQNr6MXXXIgMHS_Oedr8rCQtwWTonzDvB2VKe3UkIVb1clWxGp_UjuSi6l9tOCCEilyTcZomhyphenhyphendxwOKkcUrQuduZ3KdU78LWUEZ6MviaBoF0cWSw8Jbx8_tR2ayVjju4tcGyb8jglxc/s1600/where+we+done+went.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5FQNr6MXXXIgMHS_Oedr8rCQtwWTonzDvB2VKe3UkIVb1clWxGp_UjuSi6l9tOCCEilyTcZomhyphenhyphendxwOKkcUrQuduZ3KdU78LWUEZ6MviaBoF0cWSw8Jbx8_tR2ayVjju4tcGyb8jglxc/s320/where+we+done+went.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This weekend my workmate/flatmate and I did some intrepid exploring,
and drove up to Arthur’s Pass for a bit of a bimble. The weather in Christchurch was pretty naff,
all windy and rainy. I’d been assured by
The Wise Old Bloke at work that if it was grotty down here, it would be nice up
there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Wise Old Bloke was wrong. At the edge of the hills we were stopped and
told that after that point it was 4wd or snow chains only... so we turned
around, drove back down the road to the last village we’d passed through
(Springfield), bought snow chains, and drove back to find that the road had
been temporarily closed while they dragged back someone that had got
stuck. No worries, it gave us time to
wrestle with the bizarre tangle of chains.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out the trick is to just keep swearing at the things
until they go on. As you can see, at
this point the weather was still mostly just a bit wet and chilly; but we didn’t
have to go very much further up the road to discover why the chains were a
compulsory requirement.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZfNSsInA_SRAHZOo8yI_tk3mf_mDx-C5dI9BQH7vLhIt5rJoD4GVtM08QVmoKGw1XPrW5y-bE9DMT0vySDRdj6tB82D8QeHc8A8VIxgDCiCA1R7ClVReyTs8B4wGbukwOsB4inPXti7M/s1600/i+drive+up+mountains+all+the+time+actually.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZfNSsInA_SRAHZOo8yI_tk3mf_mDx-C5dI9BQH7vLhIt5rJoD4GVtM08QVmoKGw1XPrW5y-bE9DMT0vySDRdj6tB82D8QeHc8A8VIxgDCiCA1R7ClVReyTs8B4wGbukwOsB4inPXti7M/s320/i+drive+up+mountains+all+the+time+actually.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DeathCar2000, with its spiffy new shoes, gave not a single
fuck. And then a few kms later, the
weather cleared (ish) and the chains came off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We made a stop on the way up to check out the Cave Stream
Scenic Reserve. There’s a 594m long cave
stream that runs through the hill there; when the river is less raging and
deadly, it’s possible to follow it through the cave. We had to follow it overland, but there were
still some nice sights to be seen.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwBVH09ONGTLuXMAOw0dLZAfHI0Iz8IVqNV9ddugkWGWvqPo35RpZwRHpPbKio0Mhqxy7SZ-z7rIwm0gQtUpfBiICwRNmsNuuMuO33qoL5iKyLIGDKH-NWrMqt8tGTyFtarDIC8xXH06A/s1600/cave+stream+exit.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwBVH09ONGTLuXMAOw0dLZAfHI0Iz8IVqNV9ddugkWGWvqPo35RpZwRHpPbKio0Mhqxy7SZ-z7rIwm0gQtUpfBiICwRNmsNuuMuO33qoL5iKyLIGDKH-NWrMqt8tGTyFtarDIC8xXH06A/s320/cave+stream+exit.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9sd8oFqXMjf2AHFTdSI40qZ6_qfzdlL-gWXksGmmSirF4cTcAkT3lCeGzmqfqdtC2VlbRFOtg6CcgjW2styBrcuE-GVlmXB3bDRguLXVu9GqgG4gqmwEIk2zRHeHzjd0ygH5rorDir8Y/s1600/cave+stream+in.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9sd8oFqXMjf2AHFTdSI40qZ6_qfzdlL-gWXksGmmSirF4cTcAkT3lCeGzmqfqdtC2VlbRFOtg6CcgjW2styBrcuE-GVlmXB3bDRguLXVu9GqgG4gqmwEIk2zRHeHzjd0ygH5rorDir8Y/s320/cave+stream+in.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wet and cold, we ventured onwards. Arthur’s Pass is, believe it or not, a pass
named after a guy called Arthur. Arthur
Dobson was the first European to discover the pass in 1864; a coach path was
constructed the following year to meet the demand for a route from the west
coast to Christchurch during the gold rush.
Arthur’s Pass village itself is New Zealand’s highest altitude
settlement (793m), and boasts a population of 54. We arrived at around 1730, and everything was
still a bit blizzardy and misty and bleak.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We found the pub,had dinner and some drinks and turned in for the night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following day was astonishing. All the snow remained, but the sun was out;
it was bright and clear and crisp and warm and glorious. DeathCar2000 had made a new friend too.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzW4kTuKPxt3DdVERqIMh6AlYv9-HDMm7UrS9hlS0qRyuHy0GD9Dt7h1tL6SqLn9sjtaS05owpR1otQChq-f4jmuTdH8vpDTZXjT3qCx9GUwQTV-EHWZHlY4LEFFXpfS0jysaLs1w3tI/s1600/bright+and+clear+and+sunny+and+there+is+a+parrot+on+my+car.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzW4kTuKPxt3DdVERqIMh6AlYv9-HDMm7UrS9hlS0qRyuHy0GD9Dt7h1tL6SqLn9sjtaS05owpR1otQChq-f4jmuTdH8vpDTZXjT3qCx9GUwQTV-EHWZHlY4LEFFXpfS0jysaLs1w3tI/s320/bright+and+clear+and+sunny+and+there+is+a+parrot+on+my+car.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB6Ka0NSR0MqoZj47TZlZ8pOgiiZnB4DHypWsXXRVvpstbD-WCeu5DTgYcoEIyhl9Uvcw-EJiuvC4xGW2BOveCf9aqtzNQk3d4JERvq_J0qd7jna_8IBlmW8nu317sNZGqGOjRNzkxSSA/s1600/deathcar2000+made+a+friend.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB6Ka0NSR0MqoZj47TZlZ8pOgiiZnB4DHypWsXXRVvpstbD-WCeu5DTgYcoEIyhl9Uvcw-EJiuvC4xGW2BOveCf9aqtzNQk3d4JERvq_J0qd7jna_8IBlmW8nu317sNZGqGOjRNzkxSSA/s320/deathcar2000+made+a+friend.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This guy is a Kea, a kind of Alpine parrot. The underside of his wings is bright orange,
and looks pretty spectacular when in flight.
Not that they do a lot of flying; mostly they scuttle about sideways in
a drunken fashion and try to remove all of the metal trim from around your car
door.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We planned to spend the day doing a few walks and seeing the
sights. First up; Devil’s Punchbowl
Falls.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1I2C22fhi7orxkx_aVPQqfgYiZ0ORa02qOD96tbojO2xZGt6cFB4nSIZm-9jnn5gpjyXYSP9wn81M0ZGPptQEr64iCQG9hyphenhyphenEYvvMMj6uhb5-y90sisZaA37IGRr1Pi-WHKPVg9wDZp6Y/s1600/devils+punchbowl+falls+from+over+here.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1I2C22fhi7orxkx_aVPQqfgYiZ0ORa02qOD96tbojO2xZGt6cFB4nSIZm-9jnn5gpjyXYSP9wn81M0ZGPptQEr64iCQG9hyphenhyphenEYvvMMj6uhb5-y90sisZaA37IGRr1Pi-WHKPVg9wDZp6Y/s320/devils+punchbowl+falls+from+over+here.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigownc6TfDeM9WG_K93CGgB_N1eo1OZBFlwr14UWNdM2p8qhvb1oY04yfRJUocEtK0novKoVAKGDQf3G71nJ6p-ae61tffMUMTrH_6RH0yxVDUIlAfqXNWCpJTPMuvDQRjtwTMIh07hEI/s1600/devils+punchbowl+falls+from+close+enough+to+get+you+face+wet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigownc6TfDeM9WG_K93CGgB_N1eo1OZBFlwr14UWNdM2p8qhvb1oY04yfRJUocEtK0novKoVAKGDQf3G71nJ6p-ae61tffMUMTrH_6RH0yxVDUIlAfqXNWCpJTPMuvDQRjtwTMIh07hEI/s320/devils+punchbowl+falls+from+close+enough+to+get+you+face+wet.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the start of the twentieth century the growing coal trade required a rail line
through the mountains, and one was duly constructed.
These were the concrete foundations for the dynamos and whatnots of the
old power station that provided electricity for the Otira rail
tunnel, which goes straight through over five miles of mountain.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAP2KuPF4VSyGiECHoD1loFbsQheBAmvnMr2K9oBKJe-RCTBWiwk_IEdU0MrCi8T3-m1Aa2Oe4rhAmabmDK_zbGBBbQU14oDuOVjvESr-6eIqJTI7HBn2ZSiNwfX6euTT8Wrad-7oWsbY/s1600/power+station+foundation.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAP2KuPF4VSyGiECHoD1loFbsQheBAmvnMr2K9oBKJe-RCTBWiwk_IEdU0MrCi8T3-m1Aa2Oe4rhAmabmDK_zbGBBbQU14oDuOVjvESr-6eIqJTI7HBn2ZSiNwfX6euTT8Wrad-7oWsbY/s320/power+station+foundation.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lake Misery. I don’t
know why it’s called that, but it’s a cool name.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiveNqVHo-Rc4K7kkX5KzmgKmufVRz9ksihyn_4WMAe21PZnX-Wa2S3K-2pJnu2xIAM8-ODNfYO197vqsjTEi3qrI3DmQlr9uuDOg2K3QGCQDSYzg0FoY2y1NewdSc5LbhUXJRFBaZoKtE/s1600/lake+misery.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiveNqVHo-Rc4K7kkX5KzmgKmufVRz9ksihyn_4WMAe21PZnX-Wa2S3K-2pJnu2xIAM8-ODNfYO197vqsjTEi3qrI3DmQlr9uuDOg2K3QGCQDSYzg0FoY2y1NewdSc5LbhUXJRFBaZoKtE/s320/lake+misery.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bealey Chasm. We saw
this from a few different places; there were several different tracks to
follow.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimElgHzoDaRQXuBr4w8pLENYSMaiY-7Q9NHiSFd-vtM3w6TNddAehN-ENaB8o7f11WfuhU9q3uIcxbQ31D9w72erYb6XHAZSvdl-0-BtSfHt7ARlY5rvLY6RigrwYQ3K5EbHY8VP0JK3k/s1600/bealey+chasm+mit+the+bridge+also.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimElgHzoDaRQXuBr4w8pLENYSMaiY-7Q9NHiSFd-vtM3w6TNddAehN-ENaB8o7f11WfuhU9q3uIcxbQ31D9w72erYb6XHAZSvdl-0-BtSfHt7ARlY5rvLY6RigrwYQ3K5EbHY8VP0JK3k/s320/bealey+chasm+mit+the+bridge+also.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnDdH0b8mdTn1nHPHWenqHaI_VTN6GI96J14hFgWnfId7sf2yawVfbwZewf_ylAqcHmW3c-Dg8iUuG7gtepIua6xfMnwxO-EWW1n8pa5OIisckvxADizplwqdIJmc_3v62eR7c1HLS58M/s1600/bealey+chasm.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnDdH0b8mdTn1nHPHWenqHaI_VTN6GI96J14hFgWnfId7sf2yawVfbwZewf_ylAqcHmW3c-Dg8iUuG7gtepIua6xfMnwxO-EWW1n8pa5OIisckvxADizplwqdIJmc_3v62eR7c1HLS58M/s320/bealey+chasm.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the way back we took a few photos of where we’d been; the
weather was so crappy the day before that we hadn’t been able to see what were
driving towards... </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScYpcXDL7UDAlei449hqxbOvDFB0HfwaxaZbsjN0e70cGdLmdPgX3s3am9z0nDyKrqnk4z9iKpcK6yt9Usx1zUpQWrwZjuSkNzFlPiQebIhF7NODJ-f2CR2dvFEdl60emywUxONXN7vo/s1600/where+we+done+been.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgScYpcXDL7UDAlei449hqxbOvDFB0HfwaxaZbsjN0e70cGdLmdPgX3s3am9z0nDyKrqnk4z9iKpcK6yt9Usx1zUpQWrwZjuSkNzFlPiQebIhF7NODJ-f2CR2dvFEdl60emywUxONXN7vo/s320/where+we+done+been.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRr777_myb1xppy_MnrrV1FKsR8iIFH72Xzygceac77NdLxBaiYrfL9TGWXIn7PXp5FpAgUePIJmV41Qag9aOCkLmHmRa8IU8lMLpL4m6gxAH2ztHj7fyDkWySN0rFXrT1YY33x76NGTQ/s1600/hills+n+that.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRr777_myb1xppy_MnrrV1FKsR8iIFH72Xzygceac77NdLxBaiYrfL9TGWXIn7PXp5FpAgUePIJmV41Qag9aOCkLmHmRa8IU8lMLpL4m6gxAH2ztHj7fyDkWySN0rFXrT1YY33x76NGTQ/s320/hills+n+that.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjSvTq5AVkUSrSPDoOqZ59ntqlmeUW7OrXKX0ctYDpZeb4acTQfQD-uoVVBt_mqIWXkSI91GnyCYflX8whAEWeRAYQTiclLjYA-735fhJOvwg3OlE2PIi3luRkhb5PyziZILfcJ3t2RU/s1600/mountains+n+that.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLjSvTq5AVkUSrSPDoOqZ59ntqlmeUW7OrXKX0ctYDpZeb4acTQfQD-uoVVBt_mqIWXkSI91GnyCYflX8whAEWeRAYQTiclLjYA-735fhJOvwg3OlE2PIi3luRkhb5PyziZILfcJ3t2RU/s320/mountains+n+that.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-16928513507708147062012-10-12T11:09:00.001+01:002012-10-12T11:09:14.876+01:00pigs and ruins and candy<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I got into work on Monday morning, the first four people I spoke to all opened with something along the lines of "so... is the car still working?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As it happens, yes. Jerks. I didn't mention my latest disturbing discovery; disc one of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Now_That's_What_I_Call_Music_34_(N.Z._series)">Now 34</a> in the stereo.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Urgh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The hire car went back this weekend. It wasn’t used at all for the last couple of days, and was just sat in front of the house as a reassuring fall back option... now it’s gone, and I must put all my faith in the mechanical fortitude of DeathCar2000.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Faith not being in any great supply, the weekend was spent exploring things not too far away from home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First stop was Willowbank wildlife reserve to gawp at kiwis, monkeys, goats and some kind of giant pig that was strangely reminiscent of a Bantha.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZ6Z2PkSDwRu7AyVlH21lwGVti76wM1gFklJWeHv3J9r1G6Tbtmssj2mC5RObjKUsptPx1YpWbLyfYDuXF_H6xDo1kQf-ZVZMQ0pCnyvckh32-EweZUeB12fCh3eGrysGc-7rqeMJrKM/s1600/not+a+bantha.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvZ6Z2PkSDwRu7AyVlH21lwGVti76wM1gFklJWeHv3J9r1G6Tbtmssj2mC5RObjKUsptPx1YpWbLyfYDuXF_H6xDo1kQf-ZVZMQ0pCnyvckh32-EweZUeB12fCh3eGrysGc-7rqeMJrKM/s320/not+a+bantha.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next day I went bimbling around Hagley Park (just to the west of the city centre) where I discovered “Icefest” - some kind of week-long outdoor Antarctic thingummy. It sounds much more exciting than it actually was. There was an ice rink, a bouncy castle full of kids and someone dressed up as what I assume was supposed to be an abominable snowman of some sort; but mostly they looked like an emaciated Hoth Wampa.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got some food, read about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Trans-Antarctic_Expedition">Shackleton’s failed 1914 expedition</a> and moved along to the botanic gardens, which were all very pretty. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdM4XhO7_efrWSeHPIgzShsulYbkiC5PMJ5jhgfixOxheI8fRf1crIgN8V27vWPP2jo6B0EftHG2jv07KrQlcY268KQT5oElRPleKJcLH6YRkLy3ClBQ5LO1pEZdUdLRlfy9D_5AOFtPI/s1600/botanic+gardens+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdM4XhO7_efrWSeHPIgzShsulYbkiC5PMJ5jhgfixOxheI8fRf1crIgN8V27vWPP2jo6B0EftHG2jv07KrQlcY268KQT5oElRPleKJcLH6YRkLy3ClBQ5LO1pEZdUdLRlfy9D_5AOFtPI/s320/botanic+gardens+3.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Somewhere in the middle of it all was Cunningham House, a huge glass-roofed building seemingly full of trees and things. It’s been cordoned off due to earthquake damage. I can imagine it all being a bit reminiscent of the Bioshock gardens level in there; all overgrown foliage, crumbling stonework and a general air of creepiness...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY9IL7BE-i69DRVoFz3CB_RKRb7aZ0nmBJ1FGeAY-TwP2F9s4_nOAb1HzVMyt5C6GrAh53A4hjAKH87-RSStYU5KiAZv8-Mzk02s9vNK2TyQUHnOK546c17iaApoMPkgYD6t-XX7sDK_Q/s1600/cunningham+house.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY9IL7BE-i69DRVoFz3CB_RKRb7aZ0nmBJ1FGeAY-TwP2F9s4_nOAb1HzVMyt5C6GrAh53A4hjAKH87-RSStYU5KiAZv8-Mzk02s9vNK2TyQUHnOK546c17iaApoMPkgYD6t-XX7sDK_Q/s320/cunningham+house.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And after that I went around the centre of town to rubber-neck at some of the earthquake damage.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsOwVXANs1ppCBMcJWR2HzC41KicIOXmPGh5GK-ejwfCi2yslAZwHMWHRgtddqk9Pt9p-L8KeYtjDSDHuxNP_CU0D0KjdGfS6j5Jp83-3Ix88lyfHOLZ5BZXQ-5ptJlHNr0vAP-LF_-hY/s1600/redzone1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsOwVXANs1ppCBMcJWR2HzC41KicIOXmPGh5GK-ejwfCi2yslAZwHMWHRgtddqk9Pt9p-L8KeYtjDSDHuxNP_CU0D0KjdGfS6j5Jp83-3Ix88lyfHOLZ5BZXQ-5ptJlHNr0vAP-LF_-hY/s320/redzone1.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvICyblHV1r-IItJXl8WqwDkzY72oLSwaeFrUsYJFQ2Ph03E4zxdJUg4ABZD0SnmH_ljRqZQxg1DlKthEanfTTP760xkETRTieCeyFLyqzaXisD9dQKUsdhs_Xzp84t2X0-5ZjGe9s1P4/s1600/redzone2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvICyblHV1r-IItJXl8WqwDkzY72oLSwaeFrUsYJFQ2Ph03E4zxdJUg4ABZD0SnmH_ljRqZQxg1DlKthEanfTTP760xkETRTieCeyFLyqzaXisD9dQKUsdhs_Xzp84t2X0-5ZjGe9s1P4/s320/redzone2.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUCKDqN92n7eNtMaZ_OUJr1fOhes_W3TcRXRvZtisaD6vSLCtaTE6gn_su2Ln_YDMFGrJdP_ustB33HJW2RhNosxhL4v-P9a8rAt8BS2zL8NyllYCTlHasrSMfI43hPpFaQvPo0ry5jHI/s1600/redzone3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUCKDqN92n7eNtMaZ_OUJr1fOhes_W3TcRXRvZtisaD6vSLCtaTE6gn_su2Ln_YDMFGrJdP_ustB33HJW2RhNosxhL4v-P9a8rAt8BS2zL8NyllYCTlHasrSMfI43hPpFaQvPo0ry5jHI/s320/redzone3.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGgeUKmlL6pnqQa2IZdwtKfiVQVfmw8BjdHAdhMSjlF0c7HdNnf-VjUWz-O6kduoo2R6ASM9EKOArHHdZIdN_G1uaq5GnwrlYHuIAzpiiL_i_sYo1pQjR3JlIkBwpgO4wwmUxVfHASlTU/s1600/redzone5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGgeUKmlL6pnqQa2IZdwtKfiVQVfmw8BjdHAdhMSjlF0c7HdNnf-VjUWz-O6kduoo2R6ASM9EKOArHHdZIdN_G1uaq5GnwrlYHuIAzpiiL_i_sYo1pQjR3JlIkBwpgO4wwmUxVfHASlTU/s320/redzone5.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mostly it's a bit of a ghost town... until you hit the edge of the redzone, where you will find the re:start mall - a shopping centre made out of shipping containers, defiantly painted in bright colours. Swish.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtPs6m9KcVAiOwvz_SWKE-pKNkcN6OHGtE1D7Y0LQvcvdzDb6j1KNPw5WEgLajyDaMvVpTL3AlnRh3pedK9PJO7ykBpPM4ClwdgPRh9zZzN9BYtyvwFjjrCkDslw-JgAfcfdoYll0Ls2A/s1600/restart+mall.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtPs6m9KcVAiOwvz_SWKE-pKNkcN6OHGtE1D7Y0LQvcvdzDb6j1KNPw5WEgLajyDaMvVpTL3AlnRh3pedK9PJO7ykBpPM4ClwdgPRh9zZzN9BYtyvwFjjrCkDslw-JgAfcfdoYll0Ls2A/s320/restart+mall.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of which was terribly interesting, but the real reason for travelling halfway around the world is to experience sinister foreign confectionary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last week I tried a Pixie bar, which was a delicious slab of caramel coated in dark chocolate.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqR_VanaD4ckvSmZ0JMe5-P5WifKwDmYVqZY4m1SJNqaJSbeXGphLnclkBDO2NvRgtk-3QBUJIXa04OG3Fsz-DpFuDDfuy9JfhjDlXJPPhCNH1opw4BdXBT8VvORtRyYf0SQ3oi8H0Tgc/s1600/pixie.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="107" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqR_VanaD4ckvSmZ0JMe5-P5WifKwDmYVqZY4m1SJNqaJSbeXGphLnclkBDO2NvRgtk-3QBUJIXa04OG3Fsz-DpFuDDfuy9JfhjDlXJPPhCNH1opw4BdXBT8VvORtRyYf0SQ3oi8H0Tgc/s320/pixie.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This week's sinister foreign chocolate bar was a Pinky - possibly the only chocolate bar less manly sounding than a Pixie.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZWmTERw2-hbOOKlic5vXWN7RadjQNenVe4W2rNB4bZQLVNfMT8wO5Ia2Ew3kOAXhYu-IukXspVkuyVifJbP9WcpkqUTC0RC7TkTxfnFMOEn_xPdAweMb53so3cvYrbCb5zY6zVBbNIHE/s1600/pinky.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZWmTERw2-hbOOKlic5vXWN7RadjQNenVe4W2rNB4bZQLVNfMT8wO5Ia2Ew3kOAXhYu-IukXspVkuyVifJbP9WcpkqUTC0RC7TkTxfnFMOEn_xPdAweMb53so3cvYrbCb5zY6zVBbNIHE/s320/pinky.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is pink marshmallow with a strip of caramel down the middle, all covered in milk chocolate, and seems to be an item of confectionary designed specifically to rot teeth and make kids all sticky and 'orrible. It's not the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth, but I'm in no hurry to repeat the experience.</span><br />
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Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-55745322117503367322012-10-05T10:50:00.003+01:002012-10-05T10:50:52.296+01:00buggers muddle<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since my arrival in New Zealand I have been making use of a hire car to get around. It turns out that there is a category of hire car even lower than 'Economy'; this.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja-ensq8STt5Eoz1Ui57jhJaYCziaPk0opZSzjSC8yyLX308muANzbOZjPwgzoPh3UEqgnrZHSa6gff95LJRZ63q5TpV2zeU23Fb8QeU69lnoYVdp4Ioh71sMpQS8n865pFTAtaBKMctk/s1600/shitbox+lancer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja-ensq8STt5Eoz1Ui57jhJaYCziaPk0opZSzjSC8yyLX308muANzbOZjPwgzoPh3UEqgnrZHSa6gff95LJRZ63q5TpV2zeU23Fb8QeU69lnoYVdp4Ioh71sMpQS8n865pFTAtaBKMctk/s320/shitbox+lancer.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A majestic 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer sedan with 180000 kms on the clock. Like many cars here it is an automatic; which means instead of numbers there is a bunch of confusing letters on the gear lever. I reached into the glovebox and consulted the manual.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUL37TaCrVPyUqQG6J9GaJrtEpozjCvTIi_9iBKchtea59GXbinYEYXnClCXpCuyjhqCrQE1vUTm5e6aBYWSFzK4HEMcz8eHNAk5q8fN7pdkABv2gZjybSm7ZxZdQ44dKui7WmkDjyRXM/s1600/I+DONT+UNDERSTAND+YOUR+CRAZY+SCRIBBLING+PICTURE+WORDS.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUL37TaCrVPyUqQG6J9GaJrtEpozjCvTIi_9iBKchtea59GXbinYEYXnClCXpCuyjhqCrQE1vUTm5e6aBYWSFzK4HEMcz8eHNAk5q8fN7pdkABv2gZjybSm7ZxZdQ44dKui7WmkDjyRXM/s320/I+DONT+UNDERSTAND+YOUR+CRAZY+SCRIBBLING+PICTURE+WORDS.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The manual was in Japanese. It also seemed to include a helpful section on how best to crash your majestic 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer sedan.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiio1W-4DACuhiwDU_FmPbP_XeIpDOunbU29KpEPdkLn395irVGtzt8adPE6DcbeCU79hlgb7aaXjjd9pPNso21QlCvxfNNfD8OI6us4prpSLAtfNRDK9YHUxm9Pwff1cqr6D0rl7FHYi4/s1600/how+to+crashe+your+mitsubishi.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiio1W-4DACuhiwDU_FmPbP_XeIpDOunbU29KpEPdkLn395irVGtzt8adPE6DcbeCU79hlgb7aaXjjd9pPNso21QlCvxfNNfD8OI6us4prpSLAtfNRDK9YHUxm9Pwff1cqr6D0rl7FHYi4/s320/how+to+crashe+your+mitsubishi.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As much fun as the majestic 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer sedan was, I couldn't afford to have it on hire for the full three months that I'm here; but a car would still be essential for weekend hobbit-hunting. In theory, a cost effective solution would be to buy a second hand car and then sell it on again when its time to leave...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, this meant having to find a balance between the conflicting requirements of "must be cheap" and "must be cool". What I found was this 1990 Toyota Celica GT-R... it was advertised at $1350 (cheap-ish), and had pop-up headlights (cool for the eighties, so good enough for me). A test drive revealed that it was full of what some might refer to as "character" - covered in dents, a collapsing drivers seat, peeling paintwork, knackered front shocks, worn cv joints, a disintegrating steering wheel and possibly water in the oil too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course I bought it.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiEozMpcNzo49tOzDZvIcupapkSTr4O7_rbmIn9C8couM_g8-bnH8rTmh4l8K6svFAtyuswqurG9ajmwKSvgm25qTRuieN1LVISz5cTz4IVT2J4ee54Gl9dWqocmy-EzxwToiM4Y7zYvY/s1600/DeathCar2000.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiEozMpcNzo49tOzDZvIcupapkSTr4O7_rbmIn9C8couM_g8-bnH8rTmh4l8K6svFAtyuswqurG9ajmwKSvgm25qTRuieN1LVISz5cTz4IVT2J4ee54Gl9dWqocmy-EzxwToiM4Y7zYvY/s320/DeathCar2000.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Less striking, more stricken.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwbY_s1TjjkoZi1cnikF44kiZQype2KNUSp6rs3cZH_Te1TwTRn-CyHX3wI2AM5IxwV8h1Ggt6zbc7FdOH-9owVsXujayBBxVDDIWiTrpr4FFW7DPER9TCNKKpdESzEUrGqg2w5D7oxXw/s1600/DeathCar2000+-+more+stricken+than+striking.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwbY_s1TjjkoZi1cnikF44kiZQype2KNUSp6rs3cZH_Te1TwTRn-CyHX3wI2AM5IxwV8h1Ggt6zbc7FdOH-9owVsXujayBBxVDDIWiTrpr4FFW7DPER9TCNKKpdESzEUrGqg2w5D7oxXw/s320/DeathCar2000+-+more+stricken+than+striking.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the end I forked out $1050 for it, which is about $1050 more than it's worth. It's a manual though, and surprisingly, everything on it seems to work - including the active suspension, which as far as I can tell is a button that does nothing more than make lights come on on the dashboard. But they are green lights, so they're probably telling me that everything's okay. The manual might be Japanese, I don't know - I'm too scared to open the glovebox in case I find a severed head in it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have decided to call it DeathCar2000.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjgGwZD_T1-FZumDkwQbQixbf23nnA16kXUbuRLczkzkRH2xDQ4G3lnhBNkOpdtrCbqs1wRZxA1EJKXB48Uih5gCN-MLh3RkeJA-pbxjnTNvSpQD-urXWpkgCP5trD0KwGWJU3oxiDwI/s1600/DSC00568.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjgGwZD_T1-FZumDkwQbQixbf23nnA16kXUbuRLczkzkRH2xDQ4G3lnhBNkOpdtrCbqs1wRZxA1EJKXB48Uih5gCN-MLh3RkeJA-pbxjnTNvSpQD-urXWpkgCP5trD0KwGWJU3oxiDwI/s320/DSC00568.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We moved into more permanent temporary accommodation this week. It's nowhere near as fabulous as the cottage, but it is also half the price of the cottage; and we could always spend the money saved on fairy lights, scatter cushions and a disco ball if we start getting fabulousness withdrawals. Aside from the lack of fabulousness, it's not too bad here; two double bedrooms, a living room with a pair of sofas, a crappy but usable kitchen and a similarly crappy but usable bathroom. It feels a bit like student accommodation; the furniture boxes have been ticked at the lowest possible cost to the landlord, and there's next to nothing in the way if knick knacks or anything to make it feel like a home. Nothing is particularly nice, but nothing is particularly dreadful either.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And finally... I spotted this poster on the noticeboard outside the canteen at work.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkCO3FLNw2WRrsHIYMY8lNSKbfbeB6f3yljUZ9zhO7SllEFkgpsEMwqMEr6LTJHQeM5XFJylC65sEgJ5MIbCFEYNyBkh1A-WnDXA2DXhQTkroJvLOHnr3xkMCLUQYKawb0v6EP8Z6olbs/s1600/WANTED+-+43+mexican+midget+wrestlers+for+an+elaborate+practical+joke.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkCO3FLNw2WRrsHIYMY8lNSKbfbeB6f3yljUZ9zhO7SllEFkgpsEMwqMEr6LTJHQeM5XFJylC65sEgJ5MIbCFEYNyBkh1A-WnDXA2DXhQTkroJvLOHnr3xkMCLUQYKawb0v6EP8Z6olbs/s320/WANTED+-+43+mexican+midget+wrestlers+for+an+elaborate+practical+joke.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have literally no idea what it's all in aid of, but the sign-up list beneath it has around a dozen names on it.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-4829262372187775822012-10-01T10:55:00.001+01:002012-10-01T10:55:37.166+01:00i have travelled through time and space<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so I find myself, to a considerable extent, to be in New Zealand.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrI9TJRklu5KwXMLXMTr0D_7U1W8t4B860RNjaguhEVK3H7NYLTPbmCWyIOK2cDtAzaQ__lnzspeDZvynJrfR-O1DLa7MJEl8vaj7iEo-c71ind_GzLkonJc5SZXiB8sX13U6Zmhdb38/s1600/DSC00564.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrI9TJRklu5KwXMLXMTr0D_7U1W8t4B860RNjaguhEVK3H7NYLTPbmCWyIOK2cDtAzaQ__lnzspeDZvynJrfR-O1DLa7MJEl8vaj7iEo-c71ind_GzLkonJc5SZXiB8sX13U6Zmhdb38/s320/DSC00564.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Myself and another colleague shall be here for three months as part of work placement in which I will get to poke at aeroplanes, which is a novel experience for most engineers involved in the design of aeroplanes. I had originally intended to go to Canada for my external placement; but the company I was to be seconded to quite selfishly decided to go bankrupt - so now I'm here instead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Despite being a work placement, work is profoundly unsupportive of the entire shenanigan and generally takes the view that it's all a bit of a free holiday. Which of course it is. However, it does mean that the support we get extends no further than a subsistence allowance (half of which will be paid after the placement is completed) and the advice that we should try to sort our accomodation out as soon as possible. Thanks, work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorting out accomodation has been tricky; partly because being on the other side of the planet is somewhat inconvenient when it comes to viewing properties, but mainly because a lot of the buildings here have either fallen over or mostly fallen over. Short term accomodation is hard to come by because so much of it is snapped up by people who having their houses repaired, or by the people that are repairing their houses. In spite of this, it looks like we might have stumbled upon somewhere that is not upside down or on fire, and if all goes to plan we should be moving in on Wednesday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the meantime, we've been lurching between motels. Motel number one was perfectly acceptable. Not as luxurious as a Premier Inn, but also not as squalid as a multi-storey car park stairwell; finished in exquisitely functional shades of grey and brown, my room included a decent shower, a kitchenette thingy, a comfy bed and a TV with no porn channels. Motel number two isn't a motel at all; it's <a href="http://www.designercottage.co.nz/">a fabulous B&B</a>. Fabulous. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In between checking in and out of temporary accommodation, I went to work. Day one at Sinister Foreign Workplace was much like day one anywhere - lots of meeting people with eminently forgettable names and faces, wrestling with nefarious admin systems to obtain access to the various computer gubbinz that will be needed, and mandatory pre-employment drugs tests. Disappointingly, the drugs test did not take the form of a Pespi Challenge style blind tasting; instead I had to pee into a cup for a nice lady who will send it away to see if it is possible to get high by smoking it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, all good so far. Once things have settled down a bit I hope to do a bit more roaming about, seeing what there is to see and attempting to catch hobbits.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-2078026701569164352012-09-29T06:50:00.002+01:002012-09-29T06:50:35.577+01:00fairygodmotherlicker<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Between then and now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Eduardo Monteaz</b> - either failed to kill us all, or (more likely) didn't bother trying. Also didn't reveal his true identity, leaving us all to endure a thoroughly pleasant evening of eating, drinking and talking bollocks. The bastard.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Track slag</b> - we fitted more red bits to make it go faster.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1IdnEwrPhw_xx-Z1k7nxOG43zJTUoByH4EO-QvB7jaxgiFpvwOgxLT6BKH9dmX9mTEk6TbGq3TG0r9q8p5E0hnQ0rPX0sUyLYM_zUtmu-WLXMoMd145_IpeEOHWCDFY2LrTkr-RsZwg/s1600/red+unz+go+fasta.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1IdnEwrPhw_xx-Z1k7nxOG43zJTUoByH4EO-QvB7jaxgiFpvwOgxLT6BKH9dmX9mTEk6TbGq3TG0r9q8p5E0hnQ0rPX0sUyLYM_zUtmu-WLXMoMd145_IpeEOHWCDFY2LrTkr-RsZwg/s320/red+unz+go+fasta.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2auVjqKsW2-aIzhZCUsLaK_D4M-WTvlHSK3DUwhN8Bs1sxi-zUe77vamRswx864ZzeMgzvdJp_fOVWXvlw41KyPtWY4S73_NUkRVCew9siovJ5VNiDMcfZflnveGDnHxI60LDjIAkiSo/s1600/springy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2auVjqKsW2-aIzhZCUsLaK_D4M-WTvlHSK3DUwhN8Bs1sxi-zUe77vamRswx864ZzeMgzvdJp_fOVWXvlw41KyPtWY4S73_NUkRVCew9siovJ5VNiDMcfZflnveGDnHxI60LDjIAkiSo/s320/springy.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyli3Qs-JEQSjV1Mz1KY4UO2fxqqhkhe910IdFVG6CrgoKwVKfh8Mcys6xoISlF-IGHBmzbVC6cXCQ6IaMrb45j4XG953HD_SsxExW7BxWTfcfgSNOw_MUY51kfxJ9DhgmcjqaCuFpPSQ/s1600/track+slag.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyli3Qs-JEQSjV1Mz1KY4UO2fxqqhkhe910IdFVG6CrgoKwVKfh8Mcys6xoISlF-IGHBmzbVC6cXCQ6IaMrb45j4XG953HD_SsxExW7BxWTfcfgSNOw_MUY51kfxJ9DhgmcjqaCuFpPSQ/s320/track+slag.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We haven't had an opportunity to see how much faster the new springs and anti-roll bars actually make it go; but the lower ride height does make it easier to access disintegrating bits of engine, so it's still some sort of progress.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Mouses</b> - due to Megatron's increasingly more psychotic tendancies, he and Barton went through a trial seperation. This was followed by a very brief trial reunion, followed by a permanent separation. Stupid mouses.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Gigs 'n' that</b> - many. Harvey Milk, Trash Talk, Bastions, Kylesa, Eyehategod, Baroness, Karma To Burn and countless support acts. It's been a tinitus filled couple of months.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Toy soldiers</b> - more orkses happened. My stormboyz were so cripplingly bad at the doubles tournament that I decided to paint a few more.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHsAbI3anW4JxFnsXGPqI3eOaDbyjdF5YGWwhcGRFpPd3GPSgTiAltNOzzsgUMLeNlk83qN-urbg1wt4_290KgH6I-GzTTfHfN4ZKmsvIsIw13t8AI88eQoPXLtavcyj6beOJmP7MMdLA/s1600/stormboyz.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHsAbI3anW4JxFnsXGPqI3eOaDbyjdF5YGWwhcGRFpPd3GPSgTiAltNOzzsgUMLeNlk83qN-urbg1wt4_290KgH6I-GzTTfHfN4ZKmsvIsIw13t8AI88eQoPXLtavcyj6beOJmP7MMdLA/s320/stormboyz.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kommandos cost almost twice as much as normal boyz without being very much better, so they're a must.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bFAa-w3fHjhfhZEdAgnAvJhuICVxUu4gp_H7yUIMXFtWcveRTBcavtCAHo9Sgs5ZYEj0xjjP7Azdw6xxuFJnmP58nulb7rajcD-_fvdaMV8UrWlKy2rcoQ78EmBa_8Mp1DQmMC7OGmA/s1600/urban+kommandos.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bFAa-w3fHjhfhZEdAgnAvJhuICVxUu4gp_H7yUIMXFtWcveRTBcavtCAHo9Sgs5ZYEj0xjjP7Azdw6xxuFJnmP58nulb7rajcD-_fvdaMV8UrWlKy2rcoQ78EmBa_8Mp1DQmMC7OGmA/s320/urban+kommandos.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few extra nobz give me more options when it comes to deciding what to waste my points on.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrfC9F-rZNLgWn1NNCIDtpd3AMtqThPLOzTRMhP_UcaSOkw7ZwKcG_uMhDmcLe0Re2tuz4XwO6jF-X2zEw5Ryprt_ECSqtc_HCPw7mgekPCAjtFr5a3QLHG5amy2U1PFaFtxe-LIVnADM/s1600/goff+nobz.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrfC9F-rZNLgWn1NNCIDtpd3AMtqThPLOzTRMhP_UcaSOkw7ZwKcG_uMhDmcLe0Re2tuz4XwO6jF-X2zEw5Ryprt_ECSqtc_HCPw7mgekPCAjtFr5a3QLHG5amy2U1PFaFtxe-LIVnADM/s320/goff+nobz.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And a trukk should allow my warboss and his drinking buddies to get almost twice as far across the board before they get exploded to pieces.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjY6NSt9vjLmqh_qgqQuEPSinOrvg2movkEa8733BPOmm4BWIiVyec_yB7J2vIYykCMMaPkBs15OrP3-v5si_KEyRnBXbKTprGZ0mOx1a9Ipf0juSTIJCswG7fSDvzjvaX78By_mqG4tE/s1600/trukk+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjY6NSt9vjLmqh_qgqQuEPSinOrvg2movkEa8733BPOmm4BWIiVyec_yB7J2vIYykCMMaPkBs15OrP3-v5si_KEyRnBXbKTprGZ0mOx1a9Ipf0juSTIJCswG7fSDvzjvaX78By_mqG4tE/s320/trukk+1.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next on the list of things to do; lootaz.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFWKnH1G0SJ0ifl1Lf5CFmU_DOIYEvgCXH8fiuRRA2SGHEPXlD1ic5H47VYGWJ_vBxl53_-sggT9LWjFjMeohCR0RVk0ZT8ZLZJeAecjn_J-0oRjrIsTSpnp0uutpmiARY22H4AEQiKHA/s1600/converted+loota+2+front.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFWKnH1G0SJ0ifl1Lf5CFmU_DOIYEvgCXH8fiuRRA2SGHEPXlD1ic5H47VYGWJ_vBxl53_-sggT9LWjFjMeohCR0RVk0ZT8ZLZJeAecjn_J-0oRjrIsTSpnp0uutpmiARY22H4AEQiKHA/s320/converted+loota+2+front.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNUTLy9EQPYpolDS9srjDRFHh2nDpFts_1QShuVKX-WL4iJhV0oqlOuHYZi5h1R3dxfcQ3SJSJzkGSFFQx_n3PxGAa1ORM0ewdw2rX3E6YQz48z3XAJiA7DnhrT_zkJ1nDgdHoh2NXKvo/s1600/converted+loota+2+back.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNUTLy9EQPYpolDS9srjDRFHh2nDpFts_1QShuVKX-WL4iJhV0oqlOuHYZi5h1R3dxfcQ3SJSJzkGSFFQx_n3PxGAa1ORM0ewdw2rX3E6YQz48z3XAJiA7DnhrT_zkJ1nDgdHoh2NXKvo/s320/converted+loota+2+back.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuH72gzcWapL2p0QBj91cxgXg0Bump2OP3dtAWY76k2CNRTGaAVLhpdTcd2Eej0yxaJ0H-te2vS0mfpNrawgaejw-hTFGR3TNArQdy2GIxvD-NudU3wI4_d2UFqOlyJFQqaGCHvEuPqd0/s1600/converted+loota+3+front.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuH72gzcWapL2p0QBj91cxgXg0Bump2OP3dtAWY76k2CNRTGaAVLhpdTcd2Eej0yxaJ0H-te2vS0mfpNrawgaejw-hTFGR3TNArQdy2GIxvD-NudU3wI4_d2UFqOlyJFQqaGCHvEuPqd0/s320/converted+loota+3+front.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxW3ycNvQ04dJrW7rBYKDmF9UfRWV8f6N3YZ4SSHiFpaatA3i762pOAcnjCea93w6toIdi0zEnUB_zENH8JFqY65OlLe5Snjj2O28clsoEj33hRxaNQVWzGn0UCT7Fhi7XxJmOu7QS60/s1600/converted+loota+3+back.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxW3ycNvQ04dJrW7rBYKDmF9UfRWV8f6N3YZ4SSHiFpaatA3i762pOAcnjCea93w6toIdi0zEnUB_zENH8JFqY65OlLe5Snjj2O28clsoEj33hRxaNQVWzGn0UCT7Fhi7XxJmOu7QS60/s320/converted+loota+3+back.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMOlu4h1q6sfqWPqvqYY2Bbd-Q7D84m09baCLMUNsZvhWAmE_ul7xt_QO5J3yQc_aMaoXjmB_xYjK3lK5vXu_H0DIVjs3ZadU-afkxypGfAfBpFiG4Gi9tDV-VsyrjKZZgyDn_5V8OcrU/s1600/converted+loota+4+front.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMOlu4h1q6sfqWPqvqYY2Bbd-Q7D84m09baCLMUNsZvhWAmE_ul7xt_QO5J3yQc_aMaoXjmB_xYjK3lK5vXu_H0DIVjs3ZadU-afkxypGfAfBpFiG4Gi9tDV-VsyrjKZZgyDn_5V8OcrU/s320/converted+loota+4+front.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCto8i9BdPmUDM_EeAUyOwQoBvjsqqGRJyRTA7ciDO6bY57NzFA6qr8lmiUhNaSAovGCXXL31jVUj70BxvI4NZFvt0Fxe5qU0pl6mweFpslqZTo9lDheEVZ2M74yDahyphenhyphenMwfUx4aouypU/s1600/converted+loota+4+back.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlCto8i9BdPmUDM_EeAUyOwQoBvjsqqGRJyRTA7ciDO6bY57NzFA6qr8lmiUhNaSAovGCXXL31jVUj70BxvI4NZFvt0Fxe5qU0pl6mweFpslqZTo9lDheEVZ2M74yDahyphenhyphenMwfUx4aouypU/s320/converted+loota+4+back.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdkx1bi40eLx88P5NhSvnF9Djf4YuGBUnjETOGzW03CSuYyBt4K8rnNj7dpR5Cna_3BTAGbRZhCAXdoFnBmkSV0HZ_F3g2KhJVLuKAMnBZ-zIMDL0_GIcGO6_QrcanlbDRP1wSk3zL0E/s1600/converted+loota+1+front.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdkx1bi40eLx88P5NhSvnF9Djf4YuGBUnjETOGzW03CSuYyBt4K8rnNj7dpR5Cna_3BTAGbRZhCAXdoFnBmkSV0HZ_F3g2KhJVLuKAMnBZ-zIMDL0_GIcGO6_QrcanlbDRP1wSk3zL0E/s320/converted+loota+1+front.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhILUVV1meqF33guWUufmOc06Lalqjn926f2tVAK-7tqbmrycIeO__Y0zarJ7f2YjmPTGokuIeDfYnidGaTNT9LdFF2VF98l7XFgDFyIxHPZ-dn_PnfYzu1mKTeZ3bju6xBjExOL2jgPnE/s1600/converted+loota+1+back.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhILUVV1meqF33guWUufmOc06Lalqjn926f2tVAK-7tqbmrycIeO__Y0zarJ7f2YjmPTGokuIeDfYnidGaTNT9LdFF2VF98l7XFgDFyIxHPZ-dn_PnfYzu1mKTeZ3bju6xBjExOL2jgPnE/s320/converted+loota+1+back.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, except for the fact that I'm living in New Zealand for the next three months.</span><br />
Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-63308247070715734052012-07-23T22:35:00.000+01:002012-07-23T22:35:14.838+01:00grafitti<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvPnJZoICOiHNNTpb69h_kqBhyd1wtf9vV33XULdHfx3TCW7QAeK5SBr8oP8ecE5-G8eHNz51TqdyW51-IYf4YN5bJQFIJM-1o04jzOVMKn2OrLVDSp2WwAiUm_nQjaAkhX8ACid8Axt8/s1600/pubes.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvPnJZoICOiHNNTpb69h_kqBhyd1wtf9vV33XULdHfx3TCW7QAeK5SBr8oP8ecE5-G8eHNz51TqdyW51-IYf4YN5bJQFIJM-1o04jzOVMKn2OrLVDSp2WwAiUm_nQjaAkhX8ACid8Axt8/s320/pubes.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take<i> that</i>, society.</span><br />
<br />Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-54438478283940626482012-06-11T22:52:00.000+01:002012-06-12T06:44:59.869+01:00they seek him here, they seek him there<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Roughly one million years ago, I was the manager of what Jeff "The Apparatus" McDeath would laughably refer to as an Art Shop. He would only do this when he was trying to convince girls to sleep with him; a curious habit, since although girls might be put off by the true nature of his employment (working part time in a wargames and toy soldier store), it's far more likely that they would be put off by his insistence on anal intercourse on a first date.
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, I was the manager of this shop. There was a period during which Matt (the most Aryan of all my minions), left my curious employ to spend a year building important things to protect us from the Communists. However, a combination of my own laziness and an ineffectual HR department meant that Matt stayed on the books; and Matt made the most of this by continuing to use his staff discount despite having worked precisely zero hours for over seven months. This didn't sit too well with me, so I had a quiet word with Matt and told him that I didn't want to see his name cropping up in the staff sales book until he came back to work for me.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So when one day he suddenly ran out of black spray paint, Matt did what any loose-cannon maverick part timer with nothing to lose and everything to gain would do; he came in on my day off, and asked Pat (the most Elven of all my minions) to put a different name in the book. Matt had expected Pat to frame Willard (the most gin-soaked of all my minions); he did not.</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And so a few days later, I became the first of many to noisily ask "Who the fuck is Eduardo Monteaz?"</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eduardo Monteaz became like a collective imaginary friend. His name could often be found on sign up lists for events and new releases; and occasionally on toilet doors with a suffix to indicate that he had at some point been there. A few years later, when Paul (the most RoboJew of all my minions) got a job testing online flight booking systems, Captain Eduardo Monteaz was used as a dummy passenger; and so at some point the polite lady trapped inside the public address system of an international airport will have proclaimed it to be "the last call for Captain Eduardo Monteaz." </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And this was all super and fun and doubleplus good.</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then Eduardo Monteaz appeared on Facebook, requesting that all the former minions of the Art Shop (and a select few other associates) be his friend. Except for me, I'm far too anti-social for social networking.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At which point many voices noisily asked "Who the fuck is Eduardo Monteaz?" Fingers were pointed. Conspiracy theories mooted. Tea slurped. Toast eaten.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And a few weeks ago the plot got tar thick when this arrived on our doormat.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46JEMLzi_nRVqBLIVLr19JF4rJeh7wYRCa56rlcW5LrNYhwkjPnHRBuCHo9itFRSU6axhnWNQ19OzV7oyzDrWFYWfwA_rloTxvejhEuSWWI23gpWrG3tWMf4Iqxc6BJCPWzrX-UTRVLg/s1600/from+the+writing+desk+of+eduardo+monteaz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg46JEMLzi_nRVqBLIVLr19JF4rJeh7wYRCa56rlcW5LrNYhwkjPnHRBuCHo9itFRSU6axhnWNQ19OzV7oyzDrWFYWfwA_rloTxvejhEuSWWI23gpWrG3tWMf4Iqxc6BJCPWzrX-UTRVLg/s320/from+the+writing+desk+of+eduardo+monteaz.jpg" width="239" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those not given to squinting at computer monitors, it reads as follows:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear:</span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lady Rebecca, Mistress of the Lovenasium</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ben "Lord High Sideburn" Brooks</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dominic "Benevolent French King" Sugrue</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You are cordially invited to attend an evening of eating, drinking and talking.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The eating will be at The Glass Boat in Bristol at 6pm on the 16th June.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A two course meal has been paid for, but I'm afraid you will have to pay for drinks and service.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Reguards,</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">E. Monteaz esq.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Similar letters were sent to the other minions. And if anyone knows exactly what's going on, they're not telling. "Reguards?" A clever play on words, or a clumsy spelling mistake? Why the 16th of June? <i>Who the fuck is Eduardo Monteaz</i>?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The general consensus is that either a) we will all die in a bizarre and improbable boat disaster, or b) we will enjoy a very nice meal on a boat, sat around a table with an empty chair at it's head.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-32614164633566044312012-05-20T12:53:00.003+01:002012-05-20T12:53:29.453+01:00gnome mercy<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Has been while, so bullet points.</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Work</span></b></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still not been fired yet, so I guess it's going okay. Spent much of the last month away on training in such exotic locations as Toulouse and North Wales. Plans to spend the final quarter of the year on secondment to a maintenance, repair and overhaul outfit in Canada were scuppered when they selfishly went bankrupt. Now I'll have to go somewhere even more sinister and foreign.</span><ul>
<li><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gigs</span></b></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/helmetrocks">Helmet</a> toured to commemorate the 20th anniversary of their seminal Meantime record; they were excellent, but I was crap and spent much of the gig standing way at the back trying not to black out. This was just after the trip to Toulouse, so I'm going to assume the dastardly French poisoned me somehow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thankfully my iron constitution meant I was fully recovered in time for <a href="http://www.meshuggah.net/">Meshuggah</a> the following week. Support was provided by <a href="http://www.weareknuckledragger.com/">We Are Knuckle Dragger</a>, who made a delightfully shambolic clattering noise; and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/animalsasleaders">Animals As Leaders</a>, who were astonishing. Tough acts to follow; and of course Meshuggah absolutely killed it. And almost killed me as well, when I collided hard with some other guy and cut my head open... the next day I had to get three stitches and a tetanus shot.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYbe49xmlP5zSPZMwDKdu1QpGQEjRFByE2ZwlUi_UmzN4Gb4RiKBcrfCsusmuibdY0g7z-JmC85BwjHzsjDjoIM29TJWT8OT7Lluguw6CUA0FgUHAqI013N1AQFQDwmbiL21SZ18XLW4/s1600/meshuggan+smash+face.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCYbe49xmlP5zSPZMwDKdu1QpGQEjRFByE2ZwlUi_UmzN4Gb4RiKBcrfCsusmuibdY0g7z-JmC85BwjHzsjDjoIM29TJWT8OT7Lluguw6CUA0FgUHAqI013N1AQFQDwmbiL21SZ18XLW4/s320/meshuggan+smash+face.png" width="256" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A powerful show indeed. The following night we saw <a href="http://hydrahead.tortugarecordings.com/pelican/">Pelican</a> at the Cooler. It's been a while since I've seen these guys, and I'd forgotten just how massive they sound live. First support was <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thedeathofhermoney">Death Of Her Money</a>, which was a very pleasant surprise; second support was Black Elephant, whose bluesy classic rock shtick seemed more than a little out of place between the vast swirling post-whatever majesty of the other two. They played well, I guess - just not my thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then a couple of weeks ago we managed to catch <a href="http://nedrymakesmusic.com/">Nedry</a> playing the Croft, in all their dubsteppy bjork-esque indie electronica glory. Since we saw them last (supporting 65daysofstatic a couple of years ago) frontgal Ayu's vocals have got even stronger, while her dancing has stayed exactly the same - she still has all the rhythm and grace of a toddler that's had too many fizzy drinks. And she <i>still</i> dances better than me.</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mouses</span></b></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are both still alive, but Megatron is doing his best to rectify this situation by annihilating all that stand before him (ie. Barton). Conventional wisdom (or whatever passes for conventional wisdom on the internet) suggests that they should either be separated, or not separated. Thanks, internets.</span><ul>
<li><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Weddings</span></b></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Matt (who has never traded in Nazi war memorabilia) and Laura have decided to merge for the kill. Good for them. Displaying an uncharacteristic lack of judgement, Matt has asked me to be his best man; now I have to work out the best way of working his failed career as a car thief into a speech that will surprise and delight his family and in-laws.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-35054804963197861992012-04-22T23:57:00.001+01:002012-04-22T23:57:07.671+01:00dramatisation, may not have happened<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oZTNuW-qqLx00xaF2NoCMAFp0C6CH2xXwfHjOXVP14bu7A73FP2WR4isrLpnwRM_2iMUpV8yXFPShBxIpLs_6ESYMmWVH2wy7tOHwNovwAl0kfM03SZHzo9O2elFPfJzZn50DLawA74/s1600/the+day+bex+drank+too+much+and+ben+had+to+look+after+her.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oZTNuW-qqLx00xaF2NoCMAFp0C6CH2xXwfHjOXVP14bu7A73FP2WR4isrLpnwRM_2iMUpV8yXFPShBxIpLs_6ESYMmWVH2wy7tOHwNovwAl0kfM03SZHzo9O2elFPfJzZn50DLawA74/s320/the+day+bex+drank+too+much+and+ben+had+to+look+after+her.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeIEXi4arQk4xkug0hmvRLp6hfuTD117Z_DZkMyu8L3vUphBnCcSiBZ6oApwZ_qLrxy3b-QVGKxV7siEV0przKwjRIEQeE51L5I_XAIxHjTrwp233KswEtGkG8bu46085ooYysicTuPI0/s1600/the+day+ben+got+a+brian+ferry+mask+and+did+despicable+things+with+it.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeIEXi4arQk4xkug0hmvRLp6hfuTD117Z_DZkMyu8L3vUphBnCcSiBZ6oApwZ_qLrxy3b-QVGKxV7siEV0przKwjRIEQeE51L5I_XAIxHjTrwp233KswEtGkG8bu46085ooYysicTuPI0/s320/the+day+ben+got+a+brian+ferry+mask+and+did+despicable+things+with+it.JPG" width="167" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQTn3OWZvjjwpKL4N7gKJ7BnDy81OIkL-FfShTC3Mbk0wdKZ4xVvb0PZnAXtqM5GkYmQdvkymu7zvb9YI5H0AGHwFp8gufXrNcHEhg74PfnQAa2iFiDCOwixqOcZexWCM-h-DdssZSII/s1600/the+day+ben+let+leonardo+dicrapio+draw+him+like+one+of+his+french+girls.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQTn3OWZvjjwpKL4N7gKJ7BnDy81OIkL-FfShTC3Mbk0wdKZ4xVvb0PZnAXtqM5GkYmQdvkymu7zvb9YI5H0AGHwFp8gufXrNcHEhg74PfnQAa2iFiDCOwixqOcZexWCM-h-DdssZSII/s320/the+day+ben+let+leonardo+dicrapio+draw+him+like+one+of+his+french+girls.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe if we spent more time brushing up on trivia and less time drawing stupid pictures, we'd do better at the quiz.</span>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-88339280948027223542012-03-25T13:19:00.011+01:002012-03-27T23:29:08.990+01:00crowdsurfing is strictly prohibited<span style="text-align: left; " >I had a dream the other night that I went to a zoo. Instead of being kept in cages and enclosures, each animal was contained within a wicker effigy of itself; and the animals could all speak, but only in the manner of their keepers. So all of the goats were trapped inside wicker goats, and had Polish accents.</span><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >I've checked this out with the Pixie; it definitely means I'm gay, apparently.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Meanwhile, in real life, manly stuff has been happening. A couple of weekends ago, we went to watch a game of live action subbuteo; AFC Wimbledon vs Bristol Rovers.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkbEtFR0-_mw9LCN-KHiamwH6-R6FvRnhuZj6ogxQ3dekXrMVjdFR6FQsw3CGfLKJu7N0erWK91Yk7D7ugk7K1lVanzMU3Zz-3YjlUdpgbVhLWLo3SryjsIS_cBIBMujJ3Zjh7DGPHi4/s1600/dons+v+gas+17-3-12.JPG"><span ><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkbEtFR0-_mw9LCN-KHiamwH6-R6FvRnhuZj6ogxQ3dekXrMVjdFR6FQsw3CGfLKJu7N0erWK91Yk7D7ugk7K1lVanzMU3Zz-3YjlUdpgbVhLWLo3SryjsIS_cBIBMujJ3Zjh7DGPHi4/s400/dons+v+gas+17-3-12.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5723815011599450274" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 240px; " /></span></a></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Despite this kind of being our home town, we were there to cheer (very quietly, as we managed to end up at the home end surrounded by Rovers fans) for AFC. And here's why.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Ten years ago, first division Wimbledon FC decided to up sticks and move 56 miles north to Milton Keynes - home to grid road systems and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concrete_Cows">concrete cows</a>. This was (quite understandably) unpopular with their fans; supporting Wimbledon was already a lot like being trapped in an abusive relationship, and having to make a round trip of over a hundred miles to watch a home game was taking the piss. So they decided to start their own club, holding open trials on Wimbledon Common for anyone that fancied trying out. A team of players was selected, and AFC Wimbledon went on to get spanked 4-0 in their first game.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >AFC Wimbledon eventually finished third in their opening season in the lowest division of English football, and had a higher average attendance at their home games than Wimbledon FC (by this time referred to by fans as "The Franchise") who were still playing games 7 leagues above AFC.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Since then AFC have been promoted five times in the last nine years, hold the record for the longest unbeaten run in all senior English football, and are presently just one league below the old Wimbledon team (now the Milton Keynes Dons). They also lost 1-0 in the cold and rain-soaked match we went to see; but it was still a fun day, and we're looking forward to doing it again next year.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >We had more fun a few days later, when we took the track slag out for a day of trying-not-to-crash around Castle Combe. We soon discovered that it was just a couple of weeks before the start of the racing season, and that the vast majority of track days up and down the country had been booked out by "proper" racers trying to get their machines fine-tuned; which meant that a) there were a lot of very cool modern and classic race-spec cars in attendance, and b) we spent most of our time trying to avoid them on the track.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3eaBKMaIUqRjkEQZZXspG2ZLnqE2VpOarKjS5OjYdPEysWX8iwrRDf5CXCodG1U839RZMfL-x2D8LnUOjiXTXRDQwa27gXWbAUGrWSQfGS97p3w7e_ZRB3Im1aCgvVhxRQnSTupZgNxw/s400/DSC00474.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697043184893858" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjufP2ihMbAvGrgreqi-mRo6OsQXYceKsB95vwAdmjuLDQ9z6JEsdDsGy_AMohfyMVmupfYI9fuGxcAteGUSwyuc_9XK4U1FnFl1cxcHVIT5Dje4EDgn6Y8qEdzkB_20S_2j67AnHjg5iQ/s1600/alfa+sud.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjufP2ihMbAvGrgreqi-mRo6OsQXYceKsB95vwAdmjuLDQ9z6JEsdDsGy_AMohfyMVmupfYI9fuGxcAteGUSwyuc_9XK4U1FnFl1cxcHVIT5Dje4EDgn6Y8qEdzkB_20S_2j67AnHjg5iQ/s400/alfa+sud.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697048065743874" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbAdh3RFu2ugl1anAoVf__sbA2YrFpcrQBqJArIiZpqCaEuvY1nqwTGEFtkWbjtOKL1nKW0CViaWDWa49B3JZ3FgRJAJJGkQscwmzXUcFQwa97AX4nurJd6-u0u9iISF9VGQVyFPlf-xw/s1600/porka.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbAdh3RFu2ugl1anAoVf__sbA2YrFpcrQBqJArIiZpqCaEuvY1nqwTGEFtkWbjtOKL1nKW0CViaWDWa49B3JZ3FgRJAJJGkQscwmzXUcFQwa97AX4nurJd6-u0u9iISF9VGQVyFPlf-xw/s400/porka.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697057870397682" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi87xnoGV0gkTz1LfPVVNVUYPyd-5MAc2e8TdyjIQCaGrIXJgH1DWH3bLkzSN8_CiZTpKUhTv-zYz_oJ2zgWhyphenhyphenGLEByIp_3sfNCGdwnh2eM92A8Wy62Pj7yqljXvJi_fbzDNFSwinbVTsw/s1600/radical.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi87xnoGV0gkTz1LfPVVNVUYPyd-5MAc2e8TdyjIQCaGrIXJgH1DWH3bLkzSN8_CiZTpKUhTv-zYz_oJ2zgWhyphenhyphenGLEByIp_3sfNCGdwnh2eM92A8Wy62Pj7yqljXvJi_fbzDNFSwinbVTsw/s400/radical.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697059628505746" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIvVtjuXDP4TGzmBhwuKo21T2dMgaOd_yre59HLtUeis-UhSTrMbA64iROBXWBqIg8BITQ3KOAFyfL7Od_InpDz1yMp4gBvWrb5xFqUN0DGIPitk_Wqp4H7jtR0YreZfNqiuH8d8E3eLo/s1600/sporty+exige.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIvVtjuXDP4TGzmBhwuKo21T2dMgaOd_yre59HLtUeis-UhSTrMbA64iROBXWBqIg8BITQ3KOAFyfL7Od_InpDz1yMp4gBvWrb5xFqUN0DGIPitk_Wqp4H7jtR0YreZfNqiuH8d8E3eLo/s400/sporty+exige.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697064509613762" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnk4Vjf_k1fUL1R5cZwJiFSfeAHke05OYs5tc3hL1J-7qWFAzsdvVf_9mtBl4Qp2JtiRRPvvsSTHWc9xhTSNpLoMtz9OYAnH-nOpruM1UF0TCLqeSeuG6rxcXVkYU6GFH6Fp03atFamU/s1600/aston.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnk4Vjf_k1fUL1R5cZwJiFSfeAHke05OYs5tc3hL1J-7qWFAzsdvVf_9mtBl4Qp2JtiRRPvvsSTHWc9xhTSNpLoMtz9OYAnH-nOpruM1UF0TCLqeSeuG6rxcXVkYU6GFH6Fp03atFamU/s400/aston.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697344293695746" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-UqokN1iKrfHwigNo8tYPj1yV_V_N2OUj751JPY-WiKXGQ6WCdaShGbc5TUwHTzEGNeacI-MtCu9fWtSev8qAwIUMct5iegeMWUpB8Zm9QeK07ravJThoebqxiOeFGOSC22oSCo0nltg/s1600/lotus+europa.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-UqokN1iKrfHwigNo8tYPj1yV_V_N2OUj751JPY-WiKXGQ6WCdaShGbc5TUwHTzEGNeacI-MtCu9fWtSev8qAwIUMct5iegeMWUpB8Zm9QeK07ravJThoebqxiOeFGOSC22oSCo0nltg/s400/lotus+europa.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697354634077682" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTNvhU5dUfg63G7GMD_Eg9ueY4bDrR7dbdJCFQ5AtJsl80rRbyqImmqTzGGVT7vk5GJsqbbBeaUckWMvaGPFviciJZZRqKngq4oFlqOJGgDINsrHgIHegDXCadipASXZ7DKIB8mU0Gmw8/s1600/mr+t%255Bwo%255D.png"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTNvhU5dUfg63G7GMD_Eg9ueY4bDrR7dbdJCFQ5AtJsl80rRbyqImmqTzGGVT7vk5GJsqbbBeaUckWMvaGPFviciJZZRqKngq4oFlqOJGgDINsrHgIHegDXCadipASXZ7DKIB8mU0Gmw8/s400/mr+t%255Bwo%255D.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724697927763886210" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a>We're continuing to tweak the slag after each run; since I drove it last the brakes have been modestly uprated, and the old steering wheel with its boring airbag has been replaced with a spiffy little steering wheel with a neat yellow stripe.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDNBsPn1_w4aedFRDEYg66xuY9KypVtMOD4wKtVGk51gz7eP9j2NRInLdqRBCWG8CAnge1Q3NWwLg9AdKmsp2N-0_i8RGFXokzKMY9TAxsLKTXRlEYrxO9fTtSc-8qnu7nLX5cyxH7QU/s1600/tiny+steero-dial.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixDNBsPn1_w4aedFRDEYg66xuY9KypVtMOD4wKtVGk51gz7eP9j2NRInLdqRBCWG8CAnge1Q3NWwLg9AdKmsp2N-0_i8RGFXokzKMY9TAxsLKTXRlEYrxO9fTtSc-8qnu7nLX5cyxH7QU/s400/tiny+steero-dial.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724701771465155074" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a>So now the car stops a bit better, and has more yellow stripes on it. Next on the list is tweaked suspension, to stop the car from wallowing about in the corners like a fifteen year old Bavarian executive coupe; and a few cosmetic issues, to stop us from looking like a bunch of chumps that don't really know what we're doing.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >We made a start on this at the weekend; the now superfluous studs and brackets that the rear seats connected to were angle-grindered to oblivion, and made a start on removing the big black patches of tar-like sound deadening material with the aid of a Dan Dare style heat gun and a scrapey thing.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg985cec6WHubG0PeqmuFUrEZ-Qhy137RILjEifpaltmr4isyFiFYRM0dD2srMapPPweeqiFW6PA8oFu8WSn85AsfpI-GHFg2GK9s6VwgSB8ilNOCu045Inrat0wQyiNHbmp9JNESE-o8k/s1600/OOOOOLLLLAAA.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg985cec6WHubG0PeqmuFUrEZ-Qhy137RILjEifpaltmr4isyFiFYRM0dD2srMapPPweeqiFW6PA8oFu8WSn85AsfpI-GHFg2GK9s6VwgSB8ilNOCu045Inrat0wQyiNHbmp9JNESE-o8k/s400/OOOOOLLLLAAA.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724705587123871906" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a>The heat ray was merciless.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-81780050678037819792012-03-12T20:28:00.004+00:002012-03-12T22:20:54.426+00:00muchos rock qualitat principal<span style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; " >The worst thing about the doubles tournament came at the end of the event, with the creeping realisation that we all had to go back to be being grown-ups the next day.</span><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span >Thankfully I didn't have to play at being a grown-up for long, as at the end of the week there were gigs. Lots of gigs.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><b><span >Friday</span></b></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="http://www.myspace.com/decapitated">Decapitated</a>, supported by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/abortedmetal">Aborted</a> and some other band I can't remember the name of. All very death metal. The band with the forgettable name favoured a guitar tone that sounded like white noise; but they did have a cool bastard of drummer who gave not a single fuck. Aborted sounded less dreadful, and Decapitated were amazing; but I don't remember much as by this point me and the guys from work that I went with were sufficiently full of beer and metal that dancing seemed like a good idea. And so it was that I spent the evening throwing down alongside a Cambridge graduate and a doctor of engineering. It was a good time, and the many <i>many</i> bruises are still fading.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><iframe width="400" height="280" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GhGAyvN77VE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b><span >Saturday</span></b></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><span><a href="http://www.thronesanddominions.com/">Earth</a>, supported by <a href="http://www.opaon.ca/">Ô Paon</a> and </span> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/mounteerieorthemicrophones">Mount Eerie</a><span>. </span>Ô Paon was a delightful little Canadian one-girl band, with a million loop pedals and lots of pretty songs with French lyrics. Mount Eerie was also a one-man band, but to me he was more reminiscent of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BaKOluofCA&feature=related">this guy</a>. Earth were probably the weakest that I've ever seen them, but even an average Earth gig is pretty awesome. It's not that they played badly at all; I just prefer the stuff they were doing a few years back, when all the desolate country drone had more of a bitter doomy edge to it. The newer stuff just seems to slowly and repetitively build and build and stop without ever really getting anywhere...</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><b><span >Sunday</span></b></div><div><span ><a href="http://marklanegan.com/">Mark Lanegan Band</a>, supported by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/creaturewiththeatombrain">Creature With The Atom Brain</a>. CWTAB were kinda cool. They had the kind of songs that had a verse chorus bit at the start just to tick the box and act as a precursor to spiralling psychedelic desert blues jams. Nice. Mark Lanegan and his band pretty much just stood there and played their songs; but they're great songs, so that's fine.</span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><b><span >Monday</span></b></div><div><span ><a href="http://www.myspace.com/bstns">Bastions</a>, supported by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/TheBreakOutOfficial">The Break Out</a>, <a href="http://www.myspace.com/batsaboutbats">BatsAboutBats</a> and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/noomegahc">No Omega</a>. One of those quality gigs in a dingy little venue where the bands play to a crowd consisting mostly of the other bands, one man and his dog. And each of them went out there, played like it was their last night on earth and totally fucking killed it.</span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><b><span >Tuesday</span></b></div><div><span ><a href="http://www.myspace.com/theacaciastrain">The Acacia Strain</a>, supported by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/trchardcore">TRC</a> and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/brutalitywillprevail">Brutality Will Prevail</a>. To be honest, my main excuse for turning up to this one was to see Metal Terry, my erstwhile and often flaky gig buddy. A good few years have passed since I last saw him, and it was nice to catch up. Meanwhile, the aforementioned bands played hardcore by numbers for kids with flailing arms and conspicuously clean trainers. The stench of testosterone hung heavy in the air, and there was much posturing and chest beating and commands for the crowd to go fucking crazy... it was all kinda gay.</span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span >Still, five gigs in five days is pretty good going - although I seem to be paying for it now, as my humours are all out of whack. Time to peruse the leeches aisle in the local supermarket, methinks.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-66856272012777107642012-03-09T22:15:00.005+00:002012-03-09T23:40:37.037+00:00the road to lull<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: left; " >And then we went to the doubles tournament.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span >It came as little surprise that Jeff "Ultimate Weapon" McDeath had failed to get all of his toys painted in time; and so we found ourselves sat around in the hotel bar at 2am drunkenly daubing brown ink onto his Blood Angels (subsequently referred to as Brown Angels). This theme of booze fuelled toy soldier chicanery persisted for the rest of the weekend.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >From what I can recall, the RoboJew and I (team Master Cylinder) blundered our way to a magnificently average mid-table finish, and also managed to get nominated for the Best Army award too (although our toys weren't quite pretty enough to win it).</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtpOGCWM-j6sRSiy70AOKlh7fdsb5MZbKaO4jjOihyLYzFIc9MSp9webowDowLGEbU-TAcKI7Pyyz1sMWc4FuzAaWsPRDYpxSG4ZgeiG50JrCOQIQYOUGV4t8BR9smHJeyEZmOiw_OXu0/s1600/Doubles1.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtpOGCWM-j6sRSiy70AOKlh7fdsb5MZbKaO4jjOihyLYzFIc9MSp9webowDowLGEbU-TAcKI7Pyyz1sMWc4FuzAaWsPRDYpxSG4ZgeiG50JrCOQIQYOUGV4t8BR9smHJeyEZmOiw_OXu0/s400/Doubles1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718038894810058706" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLH6QE-ly-DrqjjeBNP1gf1Xw_k-vcziKesI1-1_KKabbkw2R2MZ93moNZ1qGj4ojVL_UjXf9GTUbrEQYZmdZYmDAh7nUJcPnk7TT8ekBz11V8c9VfQtdMt8ATMyzbTTTpQsopCofmTpM/s1600/Doubles2.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLH6QE-ly-DrqjjeBNP1gf1Xw_k-vcziKesI1-1_KKabbkw2R2MZ93moNZ1qGj4ojVL_UjXf9GTUbrEQYZmdZYmDAh7nUJcPnk7TT8ekBz11V8c9VfQtdMt8ATMyzbTTTpQsopCofmTpM/s400/Doubles2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718038889525412418" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKBub0bEt0twJc9HouOgT2zVJ92wSwELmmfbaKA1mj-IOM7vXOpk4Sfr7IkS7Dnfcd3WWMa3F-ZPqX282qjwytPFHjiXl-9iQj16MQWazVplAGARkATTh159yUzhYHh82NRgUz_P3k2aQ/s1600/Doubles3.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKBub0bEt0twJc9HouOgT2zVJ92wSwELmmfbaKA1mj-IOM7vXOpk4Sfr7IkS7Dnfcd3WWMa3F-ZPqX282qjwytPFHjiXl-9iQj16MQWazVplAGARkATTh159yUzhYHh82NRgUz_P3k2aQ/s400/Doubles3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718038884941568338" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn-ELLpMULm0HJy3QgGRIBMIzeeTBzfWzO8GjYrjMWwEK58P8k0yfHyPJtHeCkHpEYjiiDg2KpW2WR3Oj4lAoc4_k6lW1_KyXSEI8kCzKKhKf_Iy2KA2d-fw_sz2-rjTA4TX9ib5NKRKU/s1600/Doubles4.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn-ELLpMULm0HJy3QgGRIBMIzeeTBzfWzO8GjYrjMWwEK58P8k0yfHyPJtHeCkHpEYjiiDg2KpW2WR3Oj4lAoc4_k6lW1_KyXSEI8kCzKKhKf_Iy2KA2d-fw_sz2-rjTA4TX9ib5NKRKU/s400/Doubles4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718038881481662770" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwQIU1QtXmJ6LhQ-NmAt8pN7Rht_bnZ05UTLNyZFv6FmwiI2sG5vKTFWJX2l3Y4VnDK9avG18i20OsbEMkYaOXgLdtWMOszMfigasudpM87IrrjbtnWrow5x90dk_jREd9UQJDmh5lKk/s1600/Doubles5.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFwQIU1QtXmJ6LhQ-NmAt8pN7Rht_bnZ05UTLNyZFv6FmwiI2sG5vKTFWJX2l3Y4VnDK9avG18i20OsbEMkYaOXgLdtWMOszMfigasudpM87IrrjbtnWrow5x90dk_jREd9UQJDmh5lKk/s400/Doubles5.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718038879054586098" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a>It was all very super indeed, and a good time was had by all.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-77243290391443279432012-02-23T20:22:00.004+00:002012-02-23T22:26:10.967+00:00gah? buh<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: left; " >A nice policeman phoned me the other day, checking some of the details to do with my stolen bike.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Copper:</b> And you said it was stolen out of your garage?</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Me:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> We have no garage sir, it went from the back garden. We have a pretty sturdy land anchor, but my D-lock wouldn't fit round that and the bike; so I put the lock through the frame and back wheel, and used a cable lock to attach it the land anchor. That just happened to be the night they were doing the rounds with the bolt cutters.</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Copper:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> And no-one saw anything?</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Me:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> Nope. Which is odd, because without removing the D-lock - which I'm certain they didn't - they couldn't have cycled away on it. They would have had to carry it down the road, or throw it in the back of a van...</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Copper:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> ...or they could have just chucked it over the fence of number 98 and left it in their back garden.</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Me:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> ...or they could have... wait, what? 98, like, two doors down, kind-of-abandoned-looking 98? With the writhing sea of brambles in the back garden?</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span ><b>Copper:</b><span style="font-weight: normal; "> That's the one. So, have you still got the keys for that lock?</span></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; " ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; " >And then a few hours later, the nice policeman turned up at my front door with my bicycle. Nothing missing, nothing broken (apart from the cable lock, obviously), just a splash of oil and it was good to go.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; " ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; " >Crikey.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; font-style: normal; "><span style="font-weight: normal; " ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >And in even more remarkable news, I got all my Orkses finished.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvMDs3YtGkr91Tv1nN11DPfx7kpk6jq4Z4YfiSf9_62Ets3WFaQxO-USJiqqrxEhgfjrPYv-YcxtYZGAcXL2xseqsNUT1tZF5ZBMFvGkOkNxOlkiBAH3RjQN8iO-ZmaI0G5hPLr3CK-Oo/s1600/goff+boyz.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvMDs3YtGkr91Tv1nN11DPfx7kpk6jq4Z4YfiSf9_62Ets3WFaQxO-USJiqqrxEhgfjrPYv-YcxtYZGAcXL2xseqsNUT1tZF5ZBMFvGkOkNxOlkiBAH3RjQN8iO-ZmaI0G5hPLr3CK-Oo/s400/goff+boyz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712452639044582018" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 258px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsHFAtBlbhtYiShlhAECkBL-CZlNBS3dkwVG12uF67o4ggDVV_JX1ZF8AckDHJEqYetvL-bJFZx1-biXQhizWMSnc8dpqDV30mz-jccRypd7GlnkOlZq46vBXNogw-aKmLD0SXYPJcRo/s1600/waargh+grimfang.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxsHFAtBlbhtYiShlhAECkBL-CZlNBS3dkwVG12uF67o4ggDVV_JX1ZF8AckDHJEqYetvL-bJFZx1-biXQhizWMSnc8dpqDV30mz-jccRypd7GlnkOlZq46vBXNogw-aKmLD0SXYPJcRo/s400/waargh+grimfang.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712452630188165538" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 219px; " /></a>So they're all set to go for the tournament this weekend. They will of course be useless; but fortunately it's a doubles tournament, so the theory is I'll have a team-mate that can do all the winning whilst I focus on what I'm good at - exploding. Unfortunately my team-mate is the RoboJew, who also has something of a flair for exploding. So we'll probably not bother with the winning, and just focus on the toy soldier themed binge drinking instead.</span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Completing this mighty horde an entire three days before the event I'll be taking them to is a great victory for this administration; and I owe much of this success to the very splendid and ruthlessly efficient <a href="http://www.target-gaming.com/">Target Gaming</a>, who even as we speak are developing a range of liquid propellant ballistic missiles which will be used for the rapid dispatch of orders to a variety of prime targets throughout the West.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-40453914321833679902012-02-11T14:05:00.004+00:002012-02-11T17:36:09.799+00:00wayne is a bandito<span ><span style="text-align: left; "><span>The past few weeks have involved much hilarity, courtesy of shows from </span></span><a href="http://henryrollins.com/home" style="text-align: left; ">Henry Rollins</a><span style="text-align: left; "><span> (described as "a masterclass in controlled contempt" by the Bristol Evening Post), </span></span><a href="http://www.stewartlee.co.uk/" style="text-align: left; ">Stewart Lee</a><span style="text-align: left; "><span> (described as "smug elitist liberalism. Who is this cunt?" by Tokyofist, youtube) and a family wedding (not hilarious in and of itself, but we did have fun dancing badly to rubbish music and drunkenly reorganising the hotel's DVD collection in order of colour).</span></span></span><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >But mostly, the past few weeks have involved a lot of Orks.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >At the last update, I was running dangerously behind schedule. But thanks to a few late nights and uneventful weekends, I now find myself slightly ahead of schedule; thus affording me the opportunity to babble pointlessly about all the Orks I've painted, and putting myself back behind schedule as a consequence. Which is good, as without the artificially induced panic of being behind schedule I'd have almost no chance of getting finished ahead of schedule. Probably.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Anyway, here are some stormboyz...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixtdoagl-STOypfvSN6GACJAOhMf6dgbZMdwAvex54omp1HHNCJgGzDexZg-N8NMpKoPZ79Ntdiml3cvuzrekjF6u2zYrPGGHyLqse00kAjBsf1p7cVY52iVjcsYwQketZ4zuyKOqvUj8/s1600/Stormboyz.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixtdoagl-STOypfvSN6GACJAOhMf6dgbZMdwAvex54omp1HHNCJgGzDexZg-N8NMpKoPZ79Ntdiml3cvuzrekjF6u2zYrPGGHyLqse00kAjBsf1p7cVY52iVjcsYwQketZ4zuyKOqvUj8/s400/Stormboyz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707900976445880434" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 227px; " /></a>...shoota boyz...</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-d0eCHNpDlLEw3BuxNcgBRLWxv8yDX8x1O_MQgSejrWT3Yo-uJJaU57Dok1R5SjEgSiYvVKlo7D4OZvBv2tQvHM0wjuZKXWtgy-QxYoSP1zxrk1-d5OGuwo8rmjXqA1wr4dzZ1fmQfHI/s1600/Boyz+Boyz+Boyz.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-d0eCHNpDlLEw3BuxNcgBRLWxv8yDX8x1O_MQgSejrWT3Yo-uJJaU57Dok1R5SjEgSiYvVKlo7D4OZvBv2tQvHM0wjuZKXWtgy-QxYoSP1zxrk1-d5OGuwo8rmjXqA1wr4dzZ1fmQfHI/s400/Boyz+Boyz+Boyz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707900972973757106" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 205px; " /></a>...warboss and nobz.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqy_NhPGMvM2Gd0BD01RT22wEfk4p49eBc8uSCLOwnxcHqDkgarI147LcVbjgYP3gGIcle5xpqY3WD9rrk8pKNj3lz4WfxJxlDdpLXFE4KjyR5Uwsx_ycTqHC3WX1z3rTZzdRLLGjVr8w/s1600/Warboss+and+Nobz.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqy_NhPGMvM2Gd0BD01RT22wEfk4p49eBc8uSCLOwnxcHqDkgarI147LcVbjgYP3gGIcle5xpqY3WD9rrk8pKNj3lz4WfxJxlDdpLXFE4KjyR5Uwsx_ycTqHC3WX1z3rTZzdRLLGjVr8w/s400/Warboss+and+Nobz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707900965015574274" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 298px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKyNHC1qSToH_tpIh0DGRvuHLHrqxTUVmcFTTKzDIr-7gwJJ2ce3ZLvUtfQ2iuFovp9nAcJy8GOo9kxSzbHpbj6L7pqn9Kqei-GZwdTzd0HfgSr6E8DuvyfGentY9my-I_EjfE2GfjhxU/s1600/Warboss+with+power+klaw.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKyNHC1qSToH_tpIh0DGRvuHLHrqxTUVmcFTTKzDIr-7gwJJ2ce3ZLvUtfQ2iuFovp9nAcJy8GOo9kxSzbHpbj6L7pqn9Kqei-GZwdTzd0HfgSr6E8DuvyfGentY9my-I_EjfE2GfjhxU/s400/Warboss+with+power+klaw.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707900959598866626" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 372px; height: 400px; " /></a></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >Just 20 more boyz to go.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span ><br /></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><span >With the exception of a few bits and pieces scrounged out of the bitz box, all of these toys were supplied by the very excellent <a href="http://www.target-gaming.com/">Target Gaming</a>, where highly trained experts used their immense physical superiority to take my order, crush it into powder with their bare hands and grind it into my capitalist western eyes.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-39066902256539287702012-01-16T20:00:00.005+00:002012-01-16T23:28:00.121+00:00whump whump whump<span style="text-align: left; " >More orkses. Deffkoptaz.</span><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9n4qxFKM1Vhb50uhCtceLF_ENr7OgN1_j8hlgQIR5Y2ks2Vbo58N7vmSN8WdLER9XUaUqfg4_3y1s5MQBCoTFC8Cjv-MLX9FrWTtE_iPQErtQHu6_PyUYyubqCx26DsmjhI9roKbLSzM/s1600/Waargh+Deffkoptaz.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9n4qxFKM1Vhb50uhCtceLF_ENr7OgN1_j8hlgQIR5Y2ks2Vbo58N7vmSN8WdLER9XUaUqfg4_3y1s5MQBCoTFC8Cjv-MLX9FrWTtE_iPQErtQHu6_PyUYyubqCx26DsmjhI9roKbLSzM/s400/Waargh+Deffkoptaz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698323035945548642" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 240px; " /></a>Given that barely a week has passed since I posted pictures of the mighty zzap gunz that will be busily exploding in the background whilst these flyboys are gloriously exploding in mid-air, one might be forgiven for thinking that I am making fearsome progress in my attempts to paint up a whole new army to get exploded with.</span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span >This is of course a complete illusion; and my hopes of getting these jerks finished in time are ever diminishing. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that every time I finish painting a new toy, I feel compelled to take pictures of it and bleat at the internet about it rather than just cracking on and painting more toys.</span></div><div><span ><br /></span></div><div><span >Ah, the complicated futility of stupidity.</span></div><div> </div><div><span ><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOgqhI2oCJ6_Lc9ECZCizTN7sZQ-5Rw4Zbl6KpGNFljpL7P7VE14wOZA_KkArMtzXLQqYsyaURcUo0S8OapVgftojZo2XNUwbchKw6DZYT5LzEBTJwqn_fE4xcoPzyg93aj5RD2e02Iw/s1600/Deffkopta+1.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggOgqhI2oCJ6_Lc9ECZCizTN7sZQ-5Rw4Zbl6KpGNFljpL7P7VE14wOZA_KkArMtzXLQqYsyaURcUo0S8OapVgftojZo2XNUwbchKw6DZYT5LzEBTJwqn_fE4xcoPzyg93aj5RD2e02Iw/s400/Deffkopta+1.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698323022509000258" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHrFyIv8sUcbQaTbkQhUfCqXVWg1o7IHqfElBnN6yUYh8R2Waw1i3V5gs1uoiLutkpWpQRMmKPMqHNzYv9UUNvERN2tLg2RDsgMmlcBRWhV1KMfZ014uS29LSfdwM_c2TkxRfYvsSfplk/s1600/Deffkopta+2.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHrFyIv8sUcbQaTbkQhUfCqXVWg1o7IHqfElBnN6yUYh8R2Waw1i3V5gs1uoiLutkpWpQRMmKPMqHNzYv9UUNvERN2tLg2RDsgMmlcBRWhV1KMfZ014uS29LSfdwM_c2TkxRfYvsSfplk/s400/Deffkopta+2.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698323022108762530" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkXg4mrDGd7oQS2N_JYMRpRLKeVTFDA-ocmx4H7p3877udaOi_gpXhCejmbh-_mC-yLXb_C4qPXzFIwYRWPEVJE7GQ9heY0N-1WG1_7mB2XzYrRyrQOR02Ojd-5XV3qZSQkBe9g_s1oY4/s1600/Deffkopta+3.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkXg4mrDGd7oQS2N_JYMRpRLKeVTFDA-ocmx4H7p3877udaOi_gpXhCejmbh-_mC-yLXb_C4qPXzFIwYRWPEVJE7GQ9heY0N-1WG1_7mB2XzYrRyrQOR02Ojd-5XV3qZSQkBe9g_s1oY4/s400/Deffkopta+3.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5698323014712512114" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></a>These Deffkopta models are only available as part of some honking big boxed set that I didn't want to fork out for; so I bought them off ebay. But if they were available separately, I would have gone straight to <a href="http://www.target-gaming.com/">target-gaming.com</a>, where suspiciously blond perfect humans would have dispatched my order with extreme prejudice - and at a low, low price.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6305891442185052070.post-42838340422273592172012-01-10T22:22:00.005+00:002012-01-11T22:57:12.684+00:00no human would stack books like this<div style="text-align: left; ">Bought new mice. For a bit of a change, we went for boys; three of the wee blighters.</div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Barton...</span></div><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8eNLQIjiuGl3MdZdRgWEm_1z-I4A-HCoNdNm3fEjpt7f9tSK5UTCjNkXU_plYtwQShvcTYtjYa-WM2KHETCp2bzUeU_QWgI9PjGufWgA1WCcLTP7Y7hBi0n3sxHP1_gDnMskh8Xvh4Q/s1600/Barton.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA8eNLQIjiuGl3MdZdRgWEm_1z-I4A-HCoNdNm3fEjpt7f9tSK5UTCjNkXU_plYtwQShvcTYtjYa-WM2KHETCp2bzUeU_QWgI9PjGufWgA1WCcLTP7Y7hBi0n3sxHP1_gDnMskh8Xvh4Q/s400/Barton.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696134068132971922" /></a>...Megatron...</span><div><span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiawePQnyLku59eLQWjQS0oRAkV5xCGHUyDqQDOab5NBbs4lDtetLhmZpSmjXEHSWPwxMDQWrAUYtpwC818MoQ4c8msBWDc3PfDTkLNLuQFWbuKILpCn31rCASxwSMF-4w4ZtckN7Ce8w/s1600/Megatron+2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiawePQnyLku59eLQWjQS0oRAkV5xCGHUyDqQDOab5NBbs4lDtetLhmZpSmjXEHSWPwxMDQWrAUYtpwC818MoQ4c8msBWDc3PfDTkLNLuQFWbuKILpCn31rCASxwSMF-4w4ZtckN7Ce8w/s400/Megatron+2.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696134058754708050" /></a>...and Dave.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgip6OuVXJRXdyYxVZFu6mEH71W-rfdq3Y_1fyXpK9Z4CgzjDXaHNS7raQqwXun9oN-WnuDFSXDJrJLoRWPJyJPMkYmn2uAsvK26KfC_vwfay07awk5mPd7i9pvqF_KRCi8VHXA-u20lnY/s400/Dave.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696134054553312482" /><span>Boy mice are different to girl mice. Partly because they are a little bit smellier and more quarrelsome, but mainly because of their tiny mouse junk.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Sadly, little Dave only lasted a few days. Perhaps because of his predilection for jumping off of tall things, perhaps because he liked to wee in his own food bowl. Who knows.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgauZB3FoSr2sktYYpAIQWs1iVgxb6pQqt9NIR_xFJ53Sz7pFG9aFyVmpqO3qQeQ3Dwk8oUpokvChOOV-vht0k6l4UcG334YjpC8Wwnq0YBoUBeVyi29zqf53_6JxFhJ8tTW4OQJ5mT2OI/s400/the+day+ben+bought+new+mice.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696511722931901458" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline; display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 382px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><span>Meanwhile, in toy soldier land...</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>A few months ago the RoboJew phoned me to see if I wanted to go to the 40k doubles tournament with him. I figured I'd probably be quite busy with work and things, and wouldn't have time to get an army together; but because I happened to be in the pub at the time (and was subsequently highly suggestible) I agreed in a noisy and obnoxious manner. Now I have six weeks left to turn out a bunch of new Orks.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Here's the first lot; Zzap Gunz.</span></div><div><span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "></span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUbNvQNrOBx4aTYolzBwjfeLqPITr7jK7BOSHqXr-3Icmjlxj4P1L4xzSe5MTZnn61pFl5svRMfgpGJnlyi-yoAgdmWVZ1uaD4yimpxRoLR4E7JgyqXWJE9QTKEVqJRXpbSvbXAW-9P-0/s1600/Converted+Zzap+gunz.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 193px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUbNvQNrOBx4aTYolzBwjfeLqPITr7jK7BOSHqXr-3Icmjlxj4P1L4xzSe5MTZnn61pFl5svRMfgpGJnlyi-yoAgdmWVZ1uaD4yimpxRoLR4E7JgyqXWJE9QTKEVqJRXpbSvbXAW-9P-0/s400/Converted+Zzap+gunz.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696133738823866802" /></a>The standard models are a bit dull, so I cobbled these together out of scraps from the bitz box.</span></div><div><span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvHtixfnxLzbzQNiFt6-LHivOS86nEihsquvq3kojGR7TlvOO1uvI1sL644lg7asfiNNo6Wo021mSbCETluc_0j1aIjs8LjKpY7uqbpqPUrwa0sg-36w2jK3LswZ1h-5WeAL8jjYHPuo/s1600/Zzap+gun+1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJvHtixfnxLzbzQNiFt6-LHivOS86nEihsquvq3kojGR7TlvOO1uvI1sL644lg7asfiNNo6Wo021mSbCETluc_0j1aIjs8LjKpY7uqbpqPUrwa0sg-36w2jK3LswZ1h-5WeAL8jjYHPuo/s400/Zzap+gun+1.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696133730255513970" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv4-WDs7gfdDKt_OX-WXfj7LR7XEgEw52w9_4QparYn-UCwuDDazlh5BdEwCC7EWzuPZh9jo5WhNauvHgZ4Zd5sJZVnbQvfVBRRq00y5RFhPaxKWEqZREQYp0QjW6lnK7K8-vds_Nux2U/s1600/Zzap+gun+2+again.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv4-WDs7gfdDKt_OX-WXfj7LR7XEgEw52w9_4QparYn-UCwuDDazlh5BdEwCC7EWzuPZh9jo5WhNauvHgZ4Zd5sJZVnbQvfVBRRq00y5RFhPaxKWEqZREQYp0QjW6lnK7K8-vds_Nux2U/s400/Zzap+gun+2+again.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696133725164740130" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKRHEE2BfjwAn_p-uIEmG0YeNiyD6b51bBMjwpbNV6lvlzoQZpWUaEBFf9bI7xiMD54yPWnjqwM5yzUzq5M_C3gBApoHXGKWP3KNKIRzGH4IdEJ1JE-u3PcRzpmEK6bVFUFvHRWtSItE/s1600/Zzap+gun+3.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimKRHEE2BfjwAn_p-uIEmG0YeNiyD6b51bBMjwpbNV6lvlzoQZpWUaEBFf9bI7xiMD54yPWnjqwM5yzUzq5M_C3gBApoHXGKWP3KNKIRzGH4IdEJ1JE-u3PcRzpmEK6bVFUFvHRWtSItE/s400/Zzap+gun+3.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696133715669714706" /></a>No-one will be expecting Zzap Gunz, because they're rubbish. To make sure that the grot crew don't run away before they have the opportunity to show just how rubbish they can be, they will be accompanied by a burly Ork.</span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTTCoDUfNrpUf0b4563zkZeZJaTPMmMImaiTg90IS8dtPv1yb9VBVx6rmcfY5_QJG1816kDz8FlJ4wYMpODg-GxMJWsN0x2I_wy4xKoLIMCasYB-1NA_qNzT72OE4y0qij9-Y5o2QTaM4/s1600/Runtherd+gunner+kaptin+thing.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTTCoDUfNrpUf0b4563zkZeZJaTPMmMImaiTg90IS8dtPv1yb9VBVx6rmcfY5_QJG1816kDz8FlJ4wYMpODg-GxMJWsN0x2I_wy4xKoLIMCasYB-1NA_qNzT72OE4y0qij9-Y5o2QTaM4/s400/Runtherd+gunner+kaptin+thing.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696133712487262594" /></a>Since these toys are entirely composed of spare parts I had kicking around, I didn't have to buy any of them. But if <i>did</i> have to buy toys, I would have gone straight to <a href="http://www.target-gaming.com/">Target Gaming</a> where a legion of Aryan superhumans would have cheerfully helped to support my crippling toy soldier addiction.</span></div>Benhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247978637930127414noreply@blogger.com0